“I can’t stop thinking about him.” So, you say, restless whether you are in bed, tucked in, or at the office, trying to do a great job.
Whether or not you have told a friend, it makes you wonder why this person is taking up so much of your headspace.
Your mind has decided to land on this particular person. He may have been a part of your life, is already part of it, or may even a fresh face.
What Exactly Do You Mean by “can’t stop”?
But what do you mean by not stopping? Do you feel as if it has become an obsession? That will require you to think about this guy from morning until night. Of course, there will be brief breaks as you go on with the rest of your life. Otherwise, he has become a constant thought.
That literally means “cannot stop,” right? It can be an unwanted thought, but it still keeps on tapping at your shoulder.
It is also possible that you do get on with your life, but when you think about him, you feel intense emotions. These emotions affect you and the rest of your day.
You have obsessive thoughts about him. There is a pattern of thought that comes over you, sometimes even bleeding into your dreams. Your dreams can provide you with some clues to what is actually going on in your mind. Have a pencil and paper ready next to your bedside table if your guy has already invaded your dreams as well.
What sort of thoughts about him do you indulge in?
The thoughts that you get can vary. They do not have to be all pleasant. Whatever type of strong feeling you get depends on whether you were close to him before or if he is mostly a blank slate. It may also depend on whether he was part of a past relationship or strongly becoming favored for a new one.
12 Reasons Why You can’t Stop Thinking about Him
You are in Love
This may be one of the most obvious reasons. If it is love, then you may already know this person enough to make that deduction.
This is a particular person who has been there enough times for you to conclude you have fallen in love. This guy makes you happy to be alive. Thoughts about him are absolutely welcome. You love thinking about this man. There is no doubt that he is a romantic partner, or someone you hope to become one.
You are in a New Relationship
During the honeymoon stage, it is normal for you to think about your partner all the time. It is as if you cannot get enough of seeing his face or touching his skin.
When you are in a fresh romance, your oxytocin levels skyrocket. There is magic in the air, and that is because of him.
You are Sexually Attracted to Him
This can be either positive or negative. When your thoughts are fueled by mostly sexual desire, your hormones go crazy.
Are you sure it is a good idea? Perhaps you can step back and see if there are other benefits to being in a relationship with this person.
Do you want to be in a relationship that is too focused on sex? Perhaps you would like a lot of that, but make sure you don’t trap yourself in a controlling, toxic relationship that has nothing to do with love.
He Intrigues You
Hey, there is that new guy. Why do I keep thinking about him?
Perhaps you had been craving something new and mysterious, and you just did not know it. You want to get to know him better, and there is a little bit of danger in that. After all, this guy is a stranger.
Don’t be surprised if other girls and guys around you have the same thoughts towards this new arrival. It may be safer if you find a mutual friend who can provide you with a little background.
You are on the Rebound
Sadly, when you are fresh off a breakup, your brain may be tuned in to romance. Of course, different people will look at it in different ways. Maybe you hate romance with a passion, or you want to jump into the next love affair.
Be careful. If you are finding a new partner, make sure you have fully gotten over your previous relationship. There is a possibility that you are just convincing yourself to think about this new guy so that you can forget the one that let you down.
Getting over your ex boyfriend should be your priority right now before you go back to the dating scene.
You are Lonely
Sometimes, a romantic relationship seems like a way to save yourself from loneliness.
If this is the case, be wary. You may find yourself leaning it just because something is missing in you, instead of you suddenly finding an ideal partner.
He is Your Dream Man, brought to Life
Have you ever had an image of what your ideal man is like? Logically, you know that a perfect man does not exist. However, a man can be perfect specifically for you.
So, if you do meet an almost close representation of this perfect man, you may become understandably obsessed. Your thinking self will tell you he cannot possibly be exactly your dream guy.
Still, you keep on wondering about him. You can now put a face on the man of your dreams. No wonder you can’t stop thinking about him.
A Lot of People talk about Him
Now, what can you do if the guy is popular? Perhaps a mutual friend is obsessed with him. She may be talking about him so much, highlighting his best features. So, you cannot help but focus on those characteristics.
Then, suddenly, you realize you also want to know about this popular guy. You start checking his social media. To make things better or worse, he seems to be well-liked. You share a lot of likes and dislikes.
The more you see him as boyfriend material, the more that you think about him.
There is Palpable Chemistry
Of course, nothing can beat actually having had the chance to interact with this guy. It can be a conversation or even just a few moments of eye contact.
You may not be able to explain it, but you know that there is something between you. It may be the body language you exchange with each other. You may have noticed the flare of sexual desire coming from him. The mutuality of feeling makes everything more intense.
You Intentionally Focus on Him
But hey, you may have made a decision to think about him. You may have chosen him as a distraction, something to take your mind off something else.
Your life may not be where you want it to be at the moment. Then, you find this guy. Perhaps you don’t love him, not really or not yet. However, you feel like he could bring some happiness to your life.
So, you decided.
You chose to think about him. It can be a dangerous thing to do, blocking something that you should probably be solving. On the other hand, it can also make you feel better about your life. You can find something dear to hold on to. What begins as companionship can blossom in love.
You are Suffering from Unrequited Love
Boy, I think about it night and day.
That is what you tell your friend. If you had fallen in love and you don’t get loved back, you may be full of a mix of different intense emotions.
At some point, you are not sure if it is the love that keeps him there. You may still be thinking about him because you think of it as a sort of failure.
Why doesn’t he love me back?
Is it something that I have said or done?
Is there still a way for me to fix that?
The whole direct or silent rejection may have been a blow to your self esteem. Because of this, you are stuck, and you need something to pry you off your pity party.
He is Manipulating you in some Way
Whether he was an ex or just a guy that you just met, he may be applying a little dating strategy on you.
If he is an ex trying to make you feel guilty about something, steer away. You cannot make him blackmail you into going back into your arms. You must want to be there, and you must feel safe.
A stranger applying the same strategies on you is something to be wary about. Do not engage in anything more than hello in public if you feel like you are forced to do anything when he is around.
Where do you go from here?
It depends. When you think about someone so much, it does not always mean you are happy about it. There are also so many factors that you must consider.
After all, you are one part of the equation. He is a second part of the whole. However, some things are bigger than both of you, which you may also have to consider.
- If you think about him too much because you love him, you may want to fight for it. You may never be able to recreate the chemistry that you have for each other. However, you must consider all the other factors that swirl around this situation. If he is married, you may want to step back, for example.
- If you think of him simply because of sexual desire, you must consider whether this is the only thing you want out of him. Similar goals may make the two of you work together well enough. You may also want to think about him objectively when the surging hormones have calmed down.
- If you are obsessing over a past flame, you may want to think normal and healthy. Get some advice from a therapist. However, you will get a feel for whether he still loves you. If that is the case, why not give it another go? You don’t want to live with regret.
- If you are thinking about someone you are not too happy about, the same thing goes. A therapist can help you not get over those feelings right away, but at least process them.
How to apply the Ex Factor Guide to your situation
Now, there is a strong chance that you think about him because you are in love or lust.
Does he feel the same way?
Even if he was never your ex, you might still be able to apply Brad Browning’s Ex Factor Guide. You may have to take some tough love advice and make them suitable for your particular situation.
There will be some tips on flirting that will help you gauge a potential partner’s feelings for you.
Now, the Ex Factor Guide is best recommended when you are thinking about your ex too much. Your brain just cannot let go of him. This is especially true if you were in a long-term relationship, and he was a big part of your life.
That is something that you cannot simply let go of.
Your mind will keep ongoing back to an ex that you still care about – or you are still mad at. Yes, the mind is a stubborn and powerful thing.
If the good times far outnumber the bad, there is a strong chance that your heart is on the right track.
Of course, before you try Brad Browning’s tips, you may want to be sure that you want him back in your life. That is also a monumental decision to make.
If he was your main reason for being happy, you know that you just have to give it a go. However, a toxic relationship should never be relieved.
You had let go at some point.
There is no reason behind you trying to get trapped again right now.
Final Say So!!
Your brain does not just randomly focus on someone. In your case, it has landed on a new person or an old love. It could be a close friend who is becoming more.
What makes this person remain is the strong emotion that you have associated with him. He may have seduced you, intrigued you, and even had made you fall in love.
You must be careful, though. Both blind obsession and true love can give engage your brain in constant thought of this special person.
While you must not focus on any negative thoughts, you should look at your guy objectively. What are his weaknesses? Everyone has one. If you cannot think of one, why do you think that is the case?
When you are thinking of someone you love, no time is wasted. You know that you can translate thoughts into reality safely. If he loves you back, you can be assured of a happy ending. You can use Browning’s strategies combined with your own experiences to take action instead of just getting trapped inside your mind.