It often begins as a little murmur, something you cannot validate.
As time goes by, you realize that the signs your husband isnt in love with you are stacking up.
When you put them together, they do not create a pretty picture. It seems that you are trapped in a loveless marriage.
Here are some of the warning signs that could signal that love may no longer be there anymore:
Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Love You Anymore
1. He Does not Listen to What You have to Say
Communication is one of the most prominent signs something is off.
When your husband no longer feels inclined to talk to you, something is up. Some men are indeed quieter than most, but you would have seen a pattern over the years. He is your husband. So, you should have a baseline for his behavior.
Listening, however, is something else.
You fulfill the end of the bargain by being the one making an effort to say what needs to be said.
If your husband is unwilling to listen, he is either riddled with problems or must not care enough to know what you have in mind.
The two of you need to take turns speaking and listening to forge an emotional connection. True love will make a way for conversation. Romantic love is not just about flowers and candy. it is also about intimacy, through conversation.
2. He is No Longer Affectionate
People show affection in various ways.
Some people are more expressive than others, for example.
Physical connection is crucial to their relationship .
Others would dish out compliments generously when they are feeling extra affectionate. Yet others would just give a nod or a small smile to show that they like what they see.
Going cold is something else entirely.
It may happen naturally from time to time, especially after a fight. If this becomes the norm, it is a strong indicator that you no longer light his fire. I am sure that you don’t want to be trapped in a loveless relationship with an emotionally unavailable man.
Of course, do not set unrealistic expectations. Your husband just may be the way he is not because he does not love you.
3. He is a Lot More Selfish Now
Getting married means agreeing to become “one” in many ways.
It is not just an official joining of the body, but it is also the joining of two minds and souls.
Finances also become part of what you must share.
A man who has become selfish with all he must be sharing in a marriage is not in love .
After all, isn’t getting married about committing to the other person and responding to his or her needs? Every little thing may matter.
4. He Does not Want Intimacy
Your man is no longer interested in getting intimate. He does not even invite you on dates anymore.
You may have the urge to make a suggestion, but you often stop yourself because you are afraid of what he would say.
Maybe you did try and received a “no,”, and you just don’t want to try again.
There is no more action under the sheets. It is hard to get yourself in the mood when the romantic relationship is no longer there.
You cannot believe that a man with a healthy sex drive would suddenly stop attempting some physical intimacy.
Different couples have different setups.
If your marriage has always been passionate, with an active sex life, something must have instigated the sudden – or even gradual – change. A sexless marriage is a warning sign. It is not normal if both of you are physically healthy and capable.
If it has nothing to do with a change in his mental and physical health, this is worth investigating. Should he be engaging in physical cheating?
A lack of intimacy does not only get noticed in the bedroom, it can also be observed in the way he stopped sharing stories altogether. The loss of emotional intimacy is the loss of just about everything else. The magic is gone. With your emotionally unavailable husband, you only have a hollow husk. The man you met years ago is no longer there.
But just how far gone is he?
5. His Plans do not Involve You
So, your husband still likes making plans – just not with you. This is a bad sign, especially for you.
He is often out with friends or even visiting his relatives.
He does not invite you to their company events, even when you used to be his +1.
If you do tend to say “no” to getting invited to these events before, it is still not a reason for him to stop trying, especially if he wants you to be there.
In marriage, happy couples should make plans together.
While you do not have to be together all the time, your husband should at least tell you about his plans. A married couple has made a promise to behave as one.
6. He Spends More Time with Other People
You discover that your husband is not having an antisocial moment.
He just does not want to spend more time with you. With other people, it is an entirely different scenario.
He seems happier and more relaxed, eager to show his best self.
It hurts to see this when you are only hoping that the two of you would get around to spending time together. This is an unhealthy relationship.
You cannot even express your true feelings because he seems to avoid you at all costs.
7. He Treats Other People Better, Too
Let us face it: some people are just better in public than in private.
This behavior does not mean to say that your husband should get away with treating other people better. It is like an unspoken insult. He can be better with others, but not with you.
When you tell other people that your husband is this terrible person, they may not even believe you.
It is like a part of an elaborate gaslighting plan – or he just does not love – or even like – you anymore.
8. He Notices Your Faults More Than Your Strengths
Married couples will fight. However, they should focus on the mistake at hand rather than dig up everything else.
However, if he cannot find any of your good points enough for him to compliment you but is quick to jump at every mistake – your marriage is in trouble.
This behavior is a good sign that he isn’t in love with you anymore.
A man in love will try to justify the faults that he does see.
Some are challenging to overlook, but he will still find a way to focus on your strengths and values.
9. He Does Not Seem Too Happy Around You
If he is not happy, period, then perhaps he is in a state of depression.
Some men may hide their problems from their spouses because they do not want to overburden them. However, the situation is different if your husband seems happy enough with other people.
You can note the change when he leaves the company of his friends and is finally with you, but reluctantly.
He is not happy. He is half-hearted in his ways of dealing with you. This is not like the boyfriend who used to shower you with affection.
This was not the love life you envisioned.
10. He Disrespects You
Disrespect comes in many ways. It does not have to be your husband shouting at you or mocking you.
Sometimes, it can be more discreet but no less hurtful. He may, for example, not tell you what is going on with his life.
He goes off to places whenever he wants to for how long he wants without informing you beforehand.
He may also be continually saying bad things about you right in front of your face with his family and friends.
By doing that, your husband shows that he does not care if you get hurt or embarrassed.
It may sound like you are making up excuses for him – but do you think he is going through some childhood trauma? Has he been to a therapist for his awful behavior?
Do not be afraid to put a spotlight on yourself, too. Make sure that you have not done anything to cause such resentment.
Couples therapy may help both of you understand the situation you are in.
11. He is Flirtatious Around Other Women
It takes this behavior for some women to figure out that their husband is no longer in love with them.
Some men have naturally charming personalities. Flirting, however, is one different ball game.
Such displays of affection should be reserved for his wife. He could try to hide it – which makes things worse – because there must be something more about the behavior.
If he does not hide it and knows you are uncomfortable, it is more of a sign of disrespect than him being genuinely interested in any of those women.
He may not know it but he may already be in an emotional affair. It can start with mild flirtations. Then, it can develop into something more serious.
Some people believe that they are not cheating when they are not having sex with anyone else. That is where they are wrong.
12. He Does Not Care if You Flirt With Other Men
Maybe, you were hoping to retaliate. So, you flirt with other men.
If he does not seem interested, then he just totally decided you are not worth the effort and the feelings of jealousy.
He may genuinely not care at all. Any relationship expert worth his salt will tell you something is terribly off. Why would your guy basically try to almost give you away?
13. He Forgets Facts that should be Important to Your Marriage
Being forgetful is one thing – but always forgetting important dates is another.
If he forgets anniversaries and birthdays, something is up.
He may have been like that all along, which begs the question, “Has he always been this uncaring? Has he always not loved you?”
A person who is in love remembers all the crucial details.
The only reason they will forget is if he is under a lot of stress or if he has health issues.
14. He Does Not Talk to You about Your Future Together
If your husband stops dreaming with you, he may not be that enthused about spending his future with you.
There is a disconnect between what you envision and what he envisions.
He is no longer planning for the future because he knows that your relationship has already broken down, whether you are aware or not.
Find out if marriage counseling can still help you two – or if it is time to make a clean break.
15. He Talks Badly of You
No matter how mad you are at your spouse, you always hesitate to say anything wrong about him or her.
You are afraid that other people will start seeing your significant other negatively that it would be tough to get back to him and not be judged.
Someone who still keeps their spouse’s negative behavior under wraps still hopes for the better. Otherwise, he is already ready for everything to fall apart.
16. You Don’t Trust Each Other, Anymore
This one goes both ways.
He may start mistrusting you because he has reasons to be suspicious of certain behaviors. So, he is using himself as the basis for his reactions.
It is also possible that he is also not sure where he stands with you.
There is a disconnect between the two of you, which means there may not be enough communication to clear some misunderstandings.
17. He has Become More Irritable – especially around You
Does your husband snap at you for all sorts of reasons?
Well, it looks like he just gets annoyed by the sight of you. It is almost as if he wants you to be a completely different woman. This is very hurtful. Nobody deserves to live this way.
You don’t behave that way with the person you love.
Okay, sometimes we discover our spouse’s most irritating habits once we have lived together. However, it does not mean that the irritation is constant and pervasive.
He is allowed to be irritated with you because that is a normal emotional reaction. However, if he acts this way for no good reason – all the time – chances are he is not in love with you anymore.
18. He is very Self-Centered
When you are in love, the other person matters so much that you sacrifice many things for him or her.
Aren’t there men who promise to climb mountains and reach out for stars?
These things do not literally happen, but they represent the intensity of feeling that they have.
Of course, some are just paying lip service, but some are sincere about this strength of expression.
Now, what if your husband is the opposite of that?
He focuses a lot more on number 1, which happens to be himself. This means that he is in love with himself. Not even his initial physical attraction to you can beat how he feels about himself.
You are probably just there because you represent a lot of what he feels should look good with him.
This is the case with trophy wives.
There is no real affection, but you have managed to get married to the man you love, and thought was also in love with you.
19. He Does Not Listen to Your Opinion
Have you ever thought of whether your husband values you?
Valuing someone is part of loving someone.
If your partner does not listen to your opinion, it means that he just does not believe you are capable of making an intelligent and coherent thought.
If your husband dismisses your advice but follows the same recommendation when spoken by someone else, it makes you question if he rejected your suggestion or he simply rejected you. You don’t have to wonder.
That is a clear rejection of what you have to say.
20. He is Physically and Emotionally Unavailable
“In sickness and in health, ’til death do us part.”
You would expect that your partner would be there for you, no matter what.
Physical intimacy is not just about lust and desire. It is a connection and a means of communication.
In fact, some people have had hate sex. They know it is unhealthy, but they somehow take their fight under the sheets. Both would be demanding dominance.
If there is a complete absence of physical intimacy, your husband just does not want to make an effort anymore.
Perhaps he cannot pretend anymore because the act has become more like a chore. Moreover, he may be getting some action elsewhere. So, when he goes home to you, he is already tired and satiated.
Worse, he could take it at a higher level. He may have withdrawn even his emotional support.
Soon, you find yourselves bitter versions of housemates.
He goes home, eats, sleeps, and wakes up to go to work again. You don’t have conversations.
The place has gone quiet.
If there are kids, all chats revolve around the kids only. They have become lifelines instead of bundles of joy.
21. He Takes You for Granted
Your husband may have forgotten what it is like during the early years.
The sight of you no longer brings him happiness. Instead, you are just a shadow lurking in the periphery of his vision.
It has gotten to the point that he does not miss you when you are not there.
Is this how the two of you would like to live the rest of your lives?
22. He Could Not even Bear to Say “I Love You” Anymore
When your partner realized he does not love you during the first few moments, he may have still attempted to say the words. In the end, he just gave up on pretending.
Even lying does not roll off the tongue well anymore. So, he just stops saying, “I Love You.” He has given up.
One or two of the signs may not necessarily mean your husband isn’t in love with you. However, an accumulation of symptoms that do no let up just may well confirm what you may have been suspecting all along.
He is not in love with you.
Of course, it is also possible that you are both going through a stressful situation.
Even a healthy marriage can go through rough patches for some periods of time.
Perhaps a visit to a marriage counselor like Clayton Max or Brad Browning can resolve some of your issues.
Browning’s Mend your Marriage will especially help you look at your situation from all angles. Perhaps there is still a chance. There may be a reason behind his coldness that you can unearth with the help of more expert knowledge.
Communicate with each other.
Listen to other people’s relationship advice, and get as much from it to turn your unhappy marriage into a healthy relationship again..
The process is going to be rough, but it is worth a try.
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