Breakups happen. Sometimes, a breakup can be a firm full stop. In some cases, however, it is an uncertain comma.
One or both sides may be left hanging, feeling the strain of not knowing.
If you want to know what your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend is thinking, it does not mean you want to get back together.
Sometimes, you just want to be completely over this past relationship. This way, you will have a good chance of doing better in a new relationship.
You don’t want anything hanging over your head.
Why Relationships End in Breakups
But why would your ex still be pining for you? Did you not break up because the love is gone?
Well, this is not necessarily the case. Two people in love can still break up for various reasons:
– Long distance relationships may not be sustainable.
– Differences in social and financial statuses can become a lingering issue.
– Drifting apart because of a busy schedule can happen during modern times.
– Giving up on the other person is another possibility.
– One or both partners may have cheated in some way.
– One or both are addicted to something (drugs, alcohol, gambling).
The point is that there are many reasons for breakups. Not every couple has fallen out of love.
There are just some other factors that have forced them into the split. So, it is normal for one or both partners to still wonder about the fate of the other person.
Wanting to Know What Your Ex Feels
Yes, it is normal to want to know what your ex is feeling.
For one, you may actually still be in love with the person. Second, it is possible that you just miss the old routine of meeting up with him. Third, you just may want a little bit of revenge – and want your partner to suffer.
A relationship expert may tell you that whatever the cause may be, you may still care a little bit. If you cannot move on, you are still caught in a trap of possibly your own making.
Of course, you want to know if you have made the right decision if you did the dumping. You also want to check out your ex’s behavior if he was the one who dumped you.
Curiosity may kill the cat, but you just want everything to be clear.
Here are some signs your ex is pretending to be over you:
Top Signs Your Ex is Pretending to be Over You
1. Communication is Ongoing
A person who has moved on will not keep on sending messages. Your ex may send you a drunk text, a desperate plea, an angry rant, or even a declaration of love.
Whatever the content may be, your ex seems devoted to keeping the connection going.
2. The Eyes Linger
Whenever you see your ex, his eyes linger. Whatever emotion you suspect is still there will be clearly seen through his eyes.
You will know. But by trying to know, you will also risk giving him a tell tale sign of your own true feelings. After all, you will catch your ex partner’s eyes by also making use of your own.
3. Body Language Reveals True Feelings
This is part of a complicated conversation. You may send off subtle signs, yourself, just as with watching people’s eyes.
This is more of a puzzle. Your old flame may still be in love with you. However, his behavior will vary depending on his personality. He may openly show his aggression.
Your ex partner will show his displeasure by being stiff. HIs face will reveal anger, through his flared nostrils and furrowed brows.
On the other hand, he may still reveal the same body language he used to show during courtship – as if he wants you back. His body could still be mirroring your actions.
He may still unwittingly groom himself in your presence.
4. There are Attempts to Make you Jealous
Your jealousy should no longer be a factor to your ex partner’s happiness. If he is still making an effort to show off the new person in his life, then something is definitely up.
This is a sure sign that his love life is still affected by your reactions.
5. Your Ex Partner Protests Too Much
Now, if your ex partner is making a big fuss about denying his broken heart, it may be a positive chance that he still cares.
Men or women may react similarly in the face of a heartbreak. Each may want to deny what he or she is feeling. So, they make a big fanfare of showing just how they have moved on.
Unfortunately, all this fuss is a good sign that he is not over you. He is trying but failing to pretend that everything is over and done with.
Reverse psychology may work – but not all the time. Sometimes, these focused actions may even be obvious signs that your ex still cares for or even loves you.
6. Stalking may Become an Issue
Now, you may not know about this unless you still have some contact with a few of your ex’s friends. They may alert you about how your ex has been prowling over your social media accounts.
Some friends may do this just to get a rise from you. Others may be genuinely concerned about their friend.
You may then want to block your ex on Facebook, unless you yourself want him to see what you are up to. You know that you are treading on dangerous, unhealthy ground if this is the case.
7. A Mutual Friend seems to be Asking Too Many Weird Questions
Common friends may attempt to act as bridges between you and your ex. This is understandable. They feel loyal to the romantic relationship that you two had. If they were close friends, then they would have felt the loss almost as keenly as you did.
Now, if a mutual friend has been asking questions, there is a strong chance that your ex has been passing on the queries.
8. Your Stuff is Still at Your Ex’s Place
One positive sign that your ex is not over you is if he is not ready to return your stuff. Yes, it could be a small gift, like a CD you prepared for him. It may be a stuffed animal or something else.
Whatever it may be, he seems to still be invested in whatever it is. There is always an excuse as to why he is still holding on to the items.
What about you? Consider the balance of the situation.
Do you still have your former partner’s stuff? If this is the case, perhaps he just wants to keep things fair. But if you have returned all of your ex partner’s things, then it may be a clear sign that he is still trying to hold on.
9. Your Ex Partner Magically Pops up Everywhere
It seems that it is not just random material things that your ex partner cannot let go if he appears everywhere you go. Yes, you may have common friends and common haunts, but to see him everywhere? Something is up.
If you are still in love with him, you may even feel conflicted about it. If not – and if the breakup was far from amicable – you may even consider it stalking.
If the latter is the case, it does not matter if he still likes (or even loves you!), you are not comfortable with it. He must stay away.
10. Your Ex’s New Partner Hates You
So, your ex has a new partner. It does not mean that he is over you. It may well be a rebound relationship if the new flame seems to be angry and insecure when you are around.
The new partner may be feeling something in the air. Your ex may be talking about you way too much. It may just be his behavior when you are around.
His new girlfriend or spouse is bound to feel something not quite not right. Your ex may still be reminiscing about his old relationship with you.
He may even be comparing the new relationship with what you have had before.
So, if the new girlfriend hates you, you cannot blame her. She may have a good reason for feeling that way.
11. It is as if Nothing has Happened
Some people pretend that nothing has happened. They will still do the same routines that they were used to.
If your ex is acting as if he is still part of your life, this guy may not be over you. He cannot comprehend that this new stage of both of your lives require different sets of behavior.
What if your Ex is Pretending to be Over You?
So, he filled all – or almost all – of the tick boxes. It means that he is not over you.
People move on at different rates. If the breakup was not caused by fading love, it is harder to let go.
But now what? What should you do about your ex partner’s persistent feelings? If you cannot reciprocate these feelings, do not give him mixed signals. It is not fair to enjoy the attention when you cannot love him back.
What if the two of you still care about each other? Now, this is complicated. If the relationship fell apart because it was never going to be healthy anyway, it is time to cut the ties for good.
Every situation is unique. If you are not sure whether you should pursue your ex, you may want to invest in Brad Browning’s Ex Factor Guide. This neat online package shows you what you should do for just about every scenario. Sometimes, you must explore the gray areas to see what could make you happy.
Then, there is the possibility that your ex is over you and you are just projecting your own feelings on him. Do not feel ashamed and guilty about wondering. Sometimes, we need clarity and closure so that we can move on.
Think about it this way. A broken relationship does not always mean your future love life is doomed.
You may have been able to escape while you still could. If he is no longer interested, it is probably a good sign that you have at least found out now so that you could live the rest of your life.
If you are still unsure, Take our 2 Minute Quiz Here:
A breakup can be a mistake or it can be the best decision that you have ever made in your life. Whatever the case may be, it is normal to have some second thoughts.
Do I still love him? Does he still love me? What if I gave up the best chance I have at having a happy ever after?
Again, there is nothing wrong with you.
Sometimes, you will find out soon enough that you are right to try to move on. Your ex has already done so, happily or otherwise. The anger he has directed towards you may be sincere and not the result of a twisted version of love.
On the other hand, it is is also possible that your ex still cares. He still treasures your past relationship and would be willing to give it another go.
But because of pride and mixed signals, you two may not see even the obvious signs. This is why you are reading this article – to find out whether he is merely pretending to be over you.
And if he is not, a simple conversation can solve your problems. You two are adults. Each of you deserves the truth. Maybe another round of discussion can help. However, you may also elicit the help of Browning’s Ex Factor Guide if things are a lot trickier than expected.