Has Cupid’s arrow finally struck him? How can you tell?
There’s a big difference between romantic love and love bombing. The latter is not what we’re looking for and is reserved for the crazy narcissists who’ll subject you to emotional abuse and enslave you in their emotional prison.
I’m talking about being seriously in love, the stuff that romance songs and movies are made of. If women giggle and blush, what’s the counterpart for men?
Do they blush and roar in laughter when in a romantic relationship? No, I don’t think so since that would make them look mad (and I’ll tend to stay away instead).
If a guy doesn’t want any other person to have you, he’ll have to do more than just let his eyes twinkle.
Did you know that only 28% of women believe in love at first sight? (The Normal Bar, 2012) This gives your guy a chance to brush on the more gentlemanly and social skills.
Have you been noticing any of his inexplicably good deeds?
Sean has been acting more protective lately. I just saw him give this other guy a look when he stared at me for more than 5 seconds.
Michael has been extra sweet and attentive and checks up on me every hour. Is this love or just plain obsession?
I told Karl that I love fudge brownies, and every day since then, I’ve been getting a daily supply! I’ve been gaining a bit of weight, so it had to stop.
It stopped and came with a note that I wasn’t gaining weight.
A guy who listens and compliments? Is this too good to be true?
Before you say the “L” word or get into a committed relationship with a partner, better weed out the fake signals of fixation from true love.
Here are 14 signs he doesn’t want anyone else to have you:
14 Signs He Doesn’t Want Anyone Else to Have You
1. Royal Treatment
When he treats you like his queen, that’s the number 1 unquestionable sign that he doesn’t want to share you with any other prince, duke, or handsome pauper.
While you won’t get a tiara (unless you insist), consider his respectful gestures, gentlemanly actions, revealing body language, and voluntary servitude a part of the royal package.
There may be other perks such as fetching you at a moment’s text, walking your crazy dog, or sending your choice flowers regularly.
2. What’s the Scoop?
He listens to your thoughts, likes, dislikes, ideas, and rants—and acts upon them if need be.
If you were berated by your evil boss Sally, he’ll know that bubble gum ice cream will take the blues away, unless it’s freezing outside. If that’s the case, then hot chocolate should do the trick.
You told him you’d love to see Adele live when you were drunk. Adele has no plans of scheduling a concert in your quaint city, so he spent a weekend with you bingeing on Adele’s YouTube videos instead.
He also knows when you’re sad, angry, or just tired—by the tone of your voice. Maybe the facial expressions help with the guessing game too.
3. Dear Diary
Don’t worry, your diary and all its secrets are tucked safely under your pillow. I just meant that he has this mental journal dedicated to you.
He knows all about you—your interests, trivia, allergies, and that embarrassing speech you gave at your cousin Jill’s wedding.
He’s not judging you, and there’s no issue with his mental health. He just knows and remembers every little thing you tell him about yourself.
That speech you gave might come in handy when he meets cousin Jill in real life.
Your lengthy list of food allergies and what song helps you relax will be important when he plans your beach trip.
He keeps all your information safely tucked in his heart (and mind) and will use these only for your benefit.
4. Opens up
I’ve known guys who don’t speak their heart out and keep their emotions bundled in their fists. It’s just a guy thing.
If he opens up about his feelings and shows a bit of his vulnerable side, that’s him trying to widen the communication channel between you. No secrets, no inhibitions.
While it may loosen the macho vibe, he’s willing to shed his tough-guy image to show you his sweet, (sometimes) sensitive, and adorable side. More openness and understanding mean less conflict.
It can also be endearing to you. You’ll understand why his favourite expression is “Oh quack!” or why he eats his French fries with mustard.
5. First Aid
He wants to be the first in things that matter to you. Most likely, he’ll be the first person to lend a helping hand or cash (in case you forgot your wallet at home).
He’ll keep his lines open for you so that when you need a friend, help, support, or just scraped a knee, he’ll be there with a Band-Aid.
6. The Ex-Factor
He’s sure to ask questions, and some of those will subtly hint about your ex-boyfriend/s.
If he can gather enough data about your past relationship and make a SWOT analysis about it, then he’ll certainly find ways to remove the “weaknesses” from your love relationship.
Call it not repeating previous relationship mistakes. He’ll make sure he doesn’t drink and drive like Andrew did so that you won’t have to hitch a ride with his friend Paul (and end up with Paul).
He’ll be the guy who drinks and walks or just doesn’t drink so that he can spend both those moments with you and avoid a toxic relationship.
7. Plans 24/7
He asks you out and invites you to dinner after work and on weekends to the movies. It seems that he’s figured out your free time and wants to book them all. He loves spending time with you.
A walkathon 2 weeks from now, a concert at the park in 3 months, and a good deal he got on a Mexico vacation this Christmas—all planned and added in your calendar.
While he’s showing great skills as an executive assistant, he’s ensuring that you spend your weekends and holidays with him.
8. Protect You
You didn’t ask to be a damsel in distress, but he sure acts like a knight in shining armour when around you. This mating business keeps him on his toes when danger seems to strike.
He just wants to be your protector and shield. If he can be a hero just for a day, he’ll gladly take that job and save you (from the cockroach or the very spicy chicken wings).
Bottom line is, he doesn’t want to see you get hurt, injured, or bumped by someone’s giant tote bag in the mall.
No need to take it the wrong way and start a feminist campaign. You’re still welcome to give off your #girlpower vibe. You go, girl!
Did you know?
Of 2000 women surveyed, about 66% want guys who make them feel safe.
9. Hey Jealousy
When he sees you laugh near-flirtatiously with the new guy Steve, that’s when his jealousy erupts. It would seem that several scenarios may happen to Steve, all of which are not satisfactory.
He feels uncomfortable seeing you talking and connecting with other guys, potential competitors in his space.
The threat violates his sense of connection with you, and he will do everything in his power to stop them from asking you out.
Tip: Don’t let him get too overwhelmed. A jealousy streak that already borders on possessiveness may not be healthy in a long-term relationship.
10. No Conflict
When you get into a fight or disagreement, he’d be quick (if not the first) to amend the conflict.
He can’t stand ending the day (or even the hour) with unresolved tension or open issues. For him, these setbacks will keep you apart.
On the other hand, a peaceful coexistence keeps the relationship status tight and secure.
If you’re the hot-headed type, tell your office concierge to expect roses, chocolates, or even a string quartet anytime soon.
11. Family and Friends
If he’s serious about you, he’ll make sure to get to know your family and friends (and vice versa).
He’ll be available and willing to join family outings and high school reunions—even if they call for a 7-hour drive.
The more immersed he is in your family, social circle, and even social media friends, the more he feels connected with your roots. This sense of belonging extends to those close to you to make that feeling mutual.
In the same way, he’ll be more than willing to introduce you to his cousins and siblings—even when they’re prepared to share their embarrassing childhood stories.
Of course, that would be epic.
12. Be Real
Don’t we all put on a beautiful façade and tons of makeup during our first date? Dress to impress, as they say.
Another good sign that he won’t let anyone have you is when he shows his true self after you’ve survived the first date.
Conversations will no longer be sugarcoated, and you can expect to learn a secret or two.
Food for Thought
So much of the language of love was like that: you devoured someone with your eyes, you drank in the sight of him, you swallowed him whole. Love was substance, broken down and breathing through your bloodstream.
– Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes
Authenticity is a new skill achieved, and you’ll get the lowdown on his unusual mannerism and what triggered his pre-school food fight. By the way, the fight was about who got to pet Marla’s pet bunny.
By revealing his true self, he’s saying that there are no surprises or skeletons in his closet. You get him for what he is.
TIP: Listen for red flags too. A huge gun collection, a variety of pets (most of which are deceased), or even an overnight in jail. If your gut gives you the creepy vibes, or you see a bad sign, run!
13. Eyes on You
His behaviour when with you is consistently attentive. He gives you the attention you need without going overboard, and he always maintains eye contact.
When you’re on a date, he rarely glances at his phone, which by the way, is placed on silent mode even before he picks you up.
Your best friend Jenny complains that her man Louie loves to check his phone notifications or another woman when they’re out.
When your guy is with you, you have his undivided attention—all the time—so you know it wasn’t because of the wine stain on your shirt on your second date.
14. Show Off!
He shows off a bit and makes sensible promises. Call it a modern-day courting spiel.
I will buy you a garden where your flowers can bloom. Like the Everclear song.
My boss says my stellar sales performance is enough to nominate me as Senior Manager next month.
I’ll take you to New York sometime so that you can sample what a real cronut tastes.
Self-esteem paves the way for a healthy relationship. When he’s hinting about future trips and long-term plans, you’ve really made your way into his heart.
So, have you decided from these 14 signs that he considers you a keeper?
Well, look at you, grinning like you won a raffle.
With these signs that he doesn’t want anyone else to have you, it feels great to be appreciated and valued. Do you feel the same way too?
Did you know that the saying “birds of a feather” is rooted in psychology? Couples who share the same traits and personality are bound to hit it off.
I know that if the person likes you a lot, then the next step is up to you. Are you ready to “flock together?”
Do your like minds think alike? Is the chemistry there?
Did you feel ecstatic while reading the list and nod in agreement?
If you see at least one sure sign that you’re dealing with love and not a lunatic, then you’ve got yourself a catch.
Yas, woman. Go get your prize.
If he is showing you so much of the devotion, then you should also show an equal amount of devotion to lock the guy with you, learn more about the devotion here.
If he doesn’t treat you like a queen and lift you up, dump him. If it is all about him and he demands you meet his needs, dump him. There are great guys out there. There are a lot of douche bags too. Ladies, please do not settle for less – you deserve the best!