Dating is like baseball.
The first time you realized this was when you heard someone getting asked if he reached first base. Perhaps, it could have been you that they asked. So, you got curious about bases in dating.
Not so long ago, I had no idea what a relationship base even is.
Yes, the terms are not that recent compared to fresh 21st-century dating terms but some people still do not know all the details. It is possible that younger people may find a way to keep on adding to this list.
Read on for my personal attempt at a quick urban dictionary version of American dating.
Why would people use the baseball metaphor, anyway?
The first time I watched baseball, I was admittedly a little bored. Somebody explained how it worked, and I got a little interested. Then, someone that I knew started playing it, and suddenly it was thrilling.
The same goes with baseball terms. Knowing them made me appreciate the various sexual bases that we go through, while also being a little smug about knowing my baseball.
So, what are the bases of dating?
At first, I thought that the first base alludes to the first date. However, this is not always the case.
The 1st base is the first step in a sexual relationship.
Here, the lovers are slowly gauging each other’s eagerness to commit to physical intimacy. In romcoms, this is when you get that a-ha moment.
Some people may already consider mild kissing in the form of little pecks as part of this base. However, the 1st base is more often associated with French kissing.
We all know that there is something more intimate when tongues meet during a kiss.
While open-mouthed kissing can be arousing, the girl may want to stop her partner right there even if he did make one of her leg bend at the back – just like in romcoms.
This relationship base takes the action below the neck area. This is when the couple engages in heavy petting.
Here is when breasts are fondled and even squeezed, over and even under clothing.
Breasts can also be kissed or suckled, depending on the willingness and passion the couple experiences and feels.
The man can test the woman’s willingness by taking off her blouse and bra.
If she holds on tight to her clothes, she may not be ready yet. If you are a lucky guy, she will take off her clothes for you and take your hand to fondle her breasts.
Other erogenous zones can also get the skin on skin treatment.
You will notice that as you go down further, it gets more difficult not to engage in a full-blown sexual encounter.
The third base gets the couple closer to penetrative sex.
This is when sexual intimacy becomes a lot more intense.
The man can test his partner’s willingness by rubbing her genitals over her pants or underwear. If she is not ready, she may say “no” or take off his hand from the region.
This base involves the penis and vagina and their surrounding regions.
Some may think of oral sex as part of the home base, but it actually falls under the third base.
So, it is possible to achieve completion or orgasm at this level. Some people consider this base onwards as a legitimate sexual encounter.
Fourth Base or Home Base
Baseball analogy the world over agrees that this is full-blown sexual intercourse.
This is when the couple’s genitals have finally interacted with each other.
You get to home base when penetrative sex is finally achieved.
It does not matter if both partners achieve orgasm, as long as the act has finally been consummated. Virgins can finally say that they have been deflowered.
While many people may be satisfied with four bases, others go further and go on to the fifth.
Fifth base refers to anal sex. It is more common among homosexual males. However, some heterosexual men and their female partners may also choose to engage in it.
The man may have to ask for permission for this to happen. Even if a female has given consent to have sex, she may not have included anal sex in that consent.
Now, you may be thinking that we have talked about everything else, but you are wrong.
Believe me, I was surprised to know that there are so many bases. Sexual activity trumps baseball this way.
The sixth base refers to having a third party join in on you and your partner. Again, this requires communication and consent.
If both parties agree to it, then why not? It could be a lot of fun for all involved. Otherwise, it looks like this will end in a strikeout.
A strikeout means that the other person is not very receptive to your ideas of sex.
Normally, this means that the other person may have implied or blatantly told you that they are not interested. More likely, you may not even reach first base.
This may hurt a bit. But this is better than the other person playing pretend. It does not make sense to start a sexual relationship with a person who may not like you that much.
What could be sadder than a strikeout? Well, there is the walk.
This is when your date gives you a sympathy kiss and disappears into the unknown. Then, you will experience some more modern terms, such as ghosting.
Some men test the objects of their affection by letting somebody else go out there first.
This first guy is supposed to be charming enough not to get suspicious, but a little too “fresh” that the woman of your dreams will reject him and accept you.
You may bring along a friend to act as your wingman, for example.
When you get into a relationship, your girl may find out about it. Hopefully, the two of you have bonded not just sexually but also emotionally that she could forgive this little stunt.
10 Run Rule
Oh, wouldn’t it be sad if you must do this? The 10 run rule means you have to finish yourself.
You may end doing this if you got an outright rejection or if your sexual encounter reached the second or third base, and you are raring for more.
At least, you can say that you have shown respect to your lady.
Hopefully, you did not stop yourself from getting that home run. You may be excited but do not balk. Balking means premature ejaculation.
Some people are luckier, though. They get a grand slam.
This happens when the man manages to not only reach sexual intercourse with the girl he is dating but also gives her an orgasm.
You may need to pitch a lot of innings to get to this type of sexual prowess. Don’t worry if you are still a beginner.
If you find a receptive partner, you may practice together.
One of the most important ways to achieve a grand slam is to have open communication lines.
You may find it awkward, but asking how they like at the beginning of a sexual relationship means you are raring to please your girl.
If you are even luckier, you just may make it to two rounds in one night. It sounds like a dream come true, but you can make it happen.
You can start over from the 1st base to your home run. Take it slowly. Savor it.
Playing ball also requires technique, and not just speed and strength. Combine the two and you may get another grand slam in one night.
This is when you actually make your woman orgasm twice or more in one night.
Chances are you won’t get rejected the next time you initiate a sexual encounter.
Sometimes, achieving a double/triple play can only be possible if you have the endurance to play for extra innings.
This means you can get it up for four times in a row of sexual intercourse. It is a little difficult to achieve, but it should be possible in the first throes of a sexual relationship.
Hopefully, when you get to the fifth inning, your woman has achieved not just several orgasms but the knowledge that you are willing to provide her with as much pleasure as possible.
Other Baseball Terms
Now that we have seemed to have covered all the bases, what about the players? Here are other baseball terms that can be used to allude to sexual activity.
Bench Warmer: Depending on how you roll, you may want to be a Peeping Tom or have a Peeping Tom stay in and watch.
Pitcher/Catcher: For men who have sex with men, the pitcher is the partner who penetrates in anal sex while the catcher is the receptive partner.
Switch hitter/Playing for both teams: Bisexual individuals may be referred to as switch hitter or someone playing for both teams. If you are bisexual, you may want to share this information with your sexual partner(s).
Batting for the other team: Sometimes, you get a strikeout because the girl you are interested in is batting for the other team. This means that she is a lesbian, thus a homosexual.
What about where you have sex?
Even where you decide to have sex has corresponding baseball terms.
If you like having rough and tumble sex in your car, then you may say you do it in the dugout. The dugout seems like a great place to practice your 1st base and 2nd base. However, you can even go all the way to the fourth and fifth base in it if you cannot wait long enough to get a room.
If you like it more “conservative” and “refined,” you can have sex in a traditional setting – on a bed. If your sexual relationship is for keeps and is accompanied by genuine feelings, you may want to take her to bed.
Hey, it does not mean to say you cannot experiment in the field. The field is comfortable enough for doubleheaders and grand slams, for sure.
What do you need to know about the above baseball bases?
Some people don’t even get to first base. When you do succeed to get to this, take note that not all people get aroused the same way.
A kiss for your girl may just be that – an act straight from a fairy tale that suggests a happy ending. So, you may want to keep your hands to yourself or at least on her face and hair.
Respect the boundaries that she may have placed around herself, especially if she is new to dating.
When your woman trusts you enough to engage in heavy petting with you, listen to cues. Does she moan when you rub her nipples a certain way? Does she initiate another sexual act or try to follow your cues? Would she be the type to pull your head down to suckle her?
Then, there is genital contact. Just because a woman is ready to go through bases one and two, does not mean that she is ready to go for three and four.
Ask if you are not sure. This is better than stealing bases.
What does stealing bases mean? This refers to rape. This is a total no-no. No matter how receptive a woman is, she is entitled to saying no.
Don’t even give yourself the go signal to go to first base when the woman is drunk. Leave her be even if you have to do the 10 run rule.
Why do some people use the baseball analogy?
This analogy has been passed on for generations that it has become a huge part of American dating.
It also makes it easier for some parents to explain boundaries to their teenagers when sex education has come up.
There may be other analogies out there, but the baseball bases one has become quite extensive to cover all intimacy levels, sexual preferences, and success rates.