Do all men really like to play heroes?
If you are still waiting for your partner to play the role of hero in your relationship, you may be wondering if something is wrong with him or something is wrong with you.
But here is the thing, the hero instinct may not exactly be what you think it is.
No, your man is not hoping to get dressed in capes and tights. This article is not about that kind of hero.
However, if you are tired of unsatisfying relationships and want a man who is in sync with you, keep on reading.
What is the Hero Instinct?
Every man is biologically primed to want three main things:
- to live meaningfully and be appreciated
- to provide for those he cared about
- to be respected
All kinds of men have these instincts inside of them. Some are just more readily able to express themselves than others.
With some, it may take a little bit of prying for you to get them to show their instincts.
If you do not see the above from your man, you are either not looking closely, or your man is yet an untapped hero.
Help him see his potential by actively searching for his potential. Perhaps you also need to know where to look.
Who thought of this Hero Instinct idea?
While Hero Instinct seems like it has been there all along, a relationship expert named James Bauer formally coined the term.
You will read about the concept from his insightful dating book, “His Secret Obsession.”
The very title of this bestselling dating book already gives you an idea of a man’s deepest desire and biological drive.
The relationship psychologist has been able to highlight a man’s desire for meaning.
It seems that a real hero is one who wants a successful relationship, not one who hops from one bed to another.
After all, the man described in Bauer’s ultimate dating book is one who does not shirk from commitment.
He is one who serves as a provider and protector. He only needs to receive genuine appreciation back.
Why is this Concept so Important?
Knowing most men’s primal desire will at least let you understand how his heart and mind work.
By being aware of what men truly need, women can, in turn, treat them as the everyday heroes that they are.
Their men’s secret obsession need not be secret anymore.
Loving, long-term relationships should put them at the fore, even if there is no actual vocal acknowledgment.
What is important is that you want to be part of a happy relationship with your partner. This desire means a constant series of giving and taking.
Well, think about it. What do you actually do when you study what it is like to make your relationship work?
It means that you care.
It also means that you believe that investment in the hero is vital to keeping hiccups in relationships at bay.
Are you a strong independent woman?
If you are, then I bet it makes this knowledge rewarding.
You feel like you can take on anything. The same goes for your man. He wants attention and even a simple smile of appreciation.
He deserves it.
Benefits of Hero Instinct for You and Your Man
If you have gone through His Secret Obsession, you are more likely already feeling the importance of the information it offers.
Relationship coach James Bauer is keenly aware of a man’s desire for a meaningful life.
One, he is a psychologist. He actually had to study human behavior. This is his expertise.
Two, he is a man. He knows what it feels like to be a man.
So, you are getting your advice from an expert for a little bit of money. I say little, though His Secret Obsession costs more than spare change because therapy costs a lot more.
Reading the book provides you with a cheap enough opportunity to understand your husband or boyfriend. It is an important step that also deserved to be appreciated.
Knowing what the hero instinct means is in itself a relationship guide. You treat your man the way he wants to be treated.
And what can that do exactly?
When a man feels loved and wanted, his confidence gets an extra boost.
This triggers a possibly latent instinct to protect and care for those around him.
When this instinct gets activated, he feels more connected to his marriage or relationship.
He will always remember the happiness that he can associate with being in this safe space that understands him.
So, he stays.
Men who feel unwanted usually leave after the first haze of romance is gone.
You may protest. Yes, some men do leave because they like to fool around. They want to go from one woman to the next.
Women may immediately attribute it to the man’s lack of loyalty and stability.
What they do not understand is that they can trigger that desire for loyalty and stability.
Yes, you can be in control of what he feels, but not in an abusive way. You need to remind him what a man is here for.
A man is meant to protect a family unit. He has to recognize a group that he can call his people.
Does the Hero Instinct Mean Being Primal and Instinctive?
This instinct is indeed primal and instinctive.
Men’s protective instincts have cavemen roots. They always have this tendency.
It is also true that humans have evolved to become monogamous early because of the species’ desire to survive. STDs become more endemic when populations are bigger.
However, men of today can sometimes leave because the population also has access to protection.
I am trying to say here that by triggering his more instincts, we may inspire his protection and loyalty, monogamy, and sense of family.
How do his instincts manifest?
In healthy relationships, you will notice that your man will be automatically protective. His body is primed to protect yours from danger.
Yes, you do not have to experience extreme cases, like being hunted down or anything like that. However, a simple inclination to take your side during arguments shows you that protective side.
Your partner is also inclined to place you on the safe side when strolling on the sidewalk.
Your husband or boyfriend may not be an action hero, but he can be the closest thing you will ever need.
Men may not talk a lot about their emotions, but you will see how he cares through his actions. Look closely, and you will see how he goes out the way to show you respect and affection.
He wants the same, as well. When he gets it, he will be constant.
All of the things that he showed you during the honeymoon stage will continue manifesting until together you create a successful, long-lasting relationship.
Will triggering your man’s instincts require you to play the damsel in distress?
So, you probably think: Since I need to make my man feel needed, do I need to play the damsel in distress?
No, thankfully, you do not have to.
Even if you are competent, a man in love will still want to do things for you. A man who is not just in love but also aware of his important role will be there.
In his mind, he is not playing the hero. He is just doing something very natural to him.
Your man has been made aware that you are a vital part of his life. Protecting you is also protecting himself.
While this used to be his secret obsession, it is no longer secret – at least to you.
He does not know that what you are up to. All he knows is that the woman he loves finally sees him as himself.
If it is so natural, why do you need to trigger it?
I know what you are thinking. If this is so inherent in a man’s life, why do you need to uncover this magic? Why do you need to acknowledge men playing heroes?
All men have the desire to play heroes in their women’s lives. However, not everyone does so to the point of obsession.
So, when a man realizes that he can be in a better relationship, he will still leave.
Is that what you want?
If you have found a man that gives you attention and respect, you want to do the same for him.
This is a man with a kind heart. Despite the natural protectiveness of all men, he is now a rare find.
Natural instincts do not just mold men. All other factors around him affect the way he acts.
So, a good man who has not been appreciated for his efforts will start to break down.
Imagine if your everyday life has become a hurdle. He will start to find meaning elsewhere.
When a man does not get the emotional satisfaction he needs, he will start to wonder and wander. Suddenly, issues and differences become bigger than they really are.
You don’t want to reach that point in your otherwise loyal relationship.
How to trigger Man’s Hero Instinct?
As you now know, a trigger is still essential. You need to be able to show your man that you care.
Bauer offers his risk-free book. It does not cost much if you have to think of the results you can get from it.
Even before you buy the product itself, there are a few simple things that you can already do.
To trigger your man’s hero instinct, you must find ways to boost his confidence. Here are some of the ways mentioned by His Secret Obsession:
1. Asking for his Help
- While he may have thought you an enticing woman because of your independence, you must also be obsession compelling. How do you do that? You must seek his help from time to time.
- Even if it is as simple as getting that darn jar opened or receiving some advice on the article you wrote, ask for his help.
- Make him feel as if he completes you just as you complete him.
- If you have children together, give him an active role. You don’t have to do everything. He wants to be trusted, too.
2. Show your Appreciation
- Mutual appreciation is vital in a relationship to keep it strong and healthy.
- You must know the right Hero Instinct phrases to whisper in his ears.
- Be thankful for him being himself. A vocal thank you may do, or you can show your appreciation another way.
3. Encourage him to pursue Betterment
- When he wants to improve himself, support him. Perhaps he wants to go for a promotion, further studies, a business startup. He needs your support.
- Be his cheerleader. Even though men are less likely to show their emotions, they can be vulnerable, too. They also need someone to be there for them because they will be there for you.
- Be that link to everything positive and progressive. Do not hold him back for the sake of tying him down. Don’t worry: he will remember everything that you do for him. If he is the sort who don’t – then he may also be not the guy you want in your life.
4. Make sure he knows that He Makes You Happy
- Words can be strong. It does not take a physical gift for your man to see just how much you care. Tell him, why don’t you?
- Show him that all his efforts were not for nothing. Give him a wide smile, or even a kiss that seems to come out of nowhere. It will be a pleasant surprise.
While the above does not reveal Bauer’s secret phrases, you can already get started on triggering your husband’s natural protective nature.
If you want to know more, you must check out His Secret Obsession. It is not just made up of a couple of tips. It is a program designed specifically to transform your man to relationship material quality.
A man who is in love will want to take care of you. He will want to keep you out of danger.
Sometimes, though, this feeling does not last because he does not feel reciprocation. He feels like all that he does is not recognized. So, he is more inclined to wander elsewhere.
Of course, some men are not meant to be superheroes, anyway. But you know your man better than anyone. Is he a good guy at his core, but you two are still having problems?
If you answered “yes” to that question, then Bauer’s program is the right one for you.
It just means that your man’s trigger has not yet been activated. So, you must do something. You don’t want to let a good guy slip through your fingers.
If you are here reading this article, it also means that your relationship is precious enough to save.
He is lucky to have you, but triggering his instinct means having you remember that you are fortunate to have him.
So, go out there and check out Bauer’s His Secret Obsession to get the exclusive deal.
Downloading the full package costs $47. That is quite a steal compared to a typical coaching session of $197.