So, have you noticed a married male co-worker giving you the eye?
Was it creepy, or does it just make you feel warm all over?
Do you just want to know the signs a married man is in love with you?
Can’t it be just a married co-worker being friendly?
The reason you may be slightly uncomfortable about your situation is that society has primed us to think that there is no way men and women can be friends without romance and sex getting in the way.
This means that you must scrutinize the behavior closely.
Is it a case of being too friendly, or does he somehow fancy you – in that way?
Will the signs be different if the man is married or not?
Whether a man is married or not, the signs for romantic feelings will be similar.
However, there are extra things at stake if the man is married. He may need to be subtler and more secretive because of his status.
11 Signs a Married Man is in Love with You
1. He Makes it a Point that He Spends Time with You Alone
Yeah, you work together and all.
However, this married guy does not seem satisfied with sharing you with everyone else.
He makes up a reason for him to set you aside.
Perhaps, he will ask you to assist him whether or not he is in a leadership or subordinate position.
After all, isn’t that what seems normal around in an office space?
Later on, it can become a habit.
Your married colleague may start asking you out for lunch, for example.
Seeing others brown-bagging may give him a reason to eat out with you.
He will be like, “I know you like eating out, not like these guys. Do you want someone to go with you? I am craving jerk chicken.”
It seems innocent enough and challenging to get away from without being labeled as a snob.
Be careful if he asks to spend time with you in a more private setup.
2. He Jokes about Liking You
Remember how some people believe that jokes are half meant?
Well, not all of them are.
However, most of them seem to have some underlying tension.
Joking about it makes it flow out more swiftly.
Your married co-worker does not have to worry about you immediately shutting him down.
In fact, you would not be too sure how to react.
He, however, will get some clue as to whether you also like him.
He will check your face for signs of pleasure, embarrassment, or disgust, for example.
If he sees that you enjoy the joke, he may persist.
The jokes will soon become more serious, and that is when you will be caught in a dilemma.
3. He Knows a Lot about Your Love Life but Does not Share about His
If he knows about your love life, it means that he has been keeping tabs on you.
He wants to scour the crowd for competition and may even give you some hard-hitting relationship advice.
However, he will not likely talk about his wife.
As much as he can, he will try to keep her invisible, as if she does not exist at all.
He does not want to have to answer questions about her.
You will get vague replies if you do ask.
This means that he wants you to believe that his wife is out of the picture or the marriage is in trouble.
Here may be one of the more obvious signs a married man has a crush on you.
As with the other signs, this prying may add up to the other, subtle signs.
Together, they paint a picture.
Without any other evidence, though, you just may have a nosy character at the office – especially if this colleague tends to ask everyone else.
4. He Playfully Punches Your Arm, or is a Little Touchy-Feely
This is another test run of sorts.
Your married co-worker wants to know how you will react so that he will know his next move.
He will check just how far you will be okay with some physical contact.
Studies reveal that even a slight touch of the shoulder, getting to that point, gives a man higher chances of getting a woman’s number.
Check around to see if your touchy-feely colleague is doing the same with other co-workers, male and female.
If you feel singled out, then it may be his communication method for showing he is interested, and for gauging if you are, too.
5. He Mirrors Your Actions
Whether a man is married or not, he shows that he likes you when he mirrors your actions.
What does this mean?
It means that your married co-worker mimics your body language, whether consciously or subconsciously.
When this happens, the other person is trying to establish a rapport with you.
This is when you take a pause. Is your married co-worker also a close friend?
If that is the case, you may have been friends for so long that the two of you are starting to match movements, tone of voice, speed of speech, and so on.
When you belong to the same clique, this can happen.
Yes, this is possible even if the two of you belong to opposite sexes.
In any other case, you can be sure he is flirting.
So, be careful about reciprocating the mirroring.
He may get the wrong idea. If you also like him, be very careful.
Someone who does not talk much about their personal life while asking about yours may not be trustworthy.
6. His Feet are Pointed Towards You
If you are knowledgeable at body language, you will notice that his body is positioned in a certain way.
He wants you to know that he is interested.
So, he will try to be as close as possible, establishing eye contact and looking all engaged and interested.
The eyes can reveal so much.
They can be signs that a married man is in love with you if they are soft, tender, and open.
Dilated pupils, however, may mean he likes you or lusts after you.
Believe it or not, but having his feet pointing towards you is one of the signs a married man likes you more than a friend.
It can give your relationship due pressure.
You will start feeling uncomfortable around him, for sure, unless you welcome the flirtation.
7. He Gives You Gifts and Compliments
One of the bolder signs a married man is pursuing you is when the gifts come, and it is not even your birthday.
This may even be an obvious sign to some of your more oblivious colleagues.
Your married co-worker is no longer joking around and just wants you, period. Perhaps his marriage is in trouble after all.
If he manages to still have some control over his actions, he may slip in those gifts when the two of you are alone.
This move is a little more worrisome.
Why would he do that? What does he want from you?
If nothing indicates him getting divorced any time soon, his thought of you as a potential mistress is insulting.
However, giving compliments and little gifts may be among signs a married man cares for you.
He may genuinely care in a platonic way.
8. He is Flirty Around You and Nobody Else
Some men are natural flirts.
They will go around, making women feel special. In the end, though, they will go home to their wives as if nothing happened.
It had become so part of their personalities that nobody else is taking issue at the office.
Now, flirting with you alone would be one of the more blatant signs a married man has a crush on you.
He may or may not be aware of it.
How do you know he is flirting?
It can be a combination of things.
Your married co-worker may make it a point to hold eye contact for longer.
He may reveal a little too much or find things that you have in common.
A one eyebrow raise shows you that he likes what he sees.
9. He Shares His Problems with You
When oversharing ensues, a married guy has already crossed a line.
This is what we call emotional cheating.
Risking a lot by doing this is one of the signs a married man is in love with you.
This guy knows that it is wrong to be emotionally invested in somebody else.
He will feel it in his bones because the last woman he may have shared his thoughts and dreams with was his wife.
Remember that there is something unfair about him talking to you about his marital problems.
No matter how troubled his marriage is, he should have talked it out with his wife and not you.
When he talks to you about such personal matters, he hopes that you can feel how much he is reaching out to make a connection.
10. He hides His Wedding Ring from You
It is dodgy, but a married man with a crush will try to hide his wedding ring from you.
One, he may take it out altogether. This is a little suspicious.
What does taking off a wedding ring mean for a married man?
It can be several things:
- He may be in a non-traditional marriage. Rings may not factor in as much. This may be true if you have not seen him with one from the beginning.
- He may be allergic to certain metals.
- He is forgetful and perhaps even unreliable. That is if you see him with it off and on.
- He is disrespectful to his wife and his vows.
- He is blatantly on the prowl.
- He is interested in you. This is true if he only hides – or attempts to hide – his wedding ring around you.
Of course, hiding his wedding ring does not make sense in an office setting wherein most people know everyone else.
He is either in denial or he wants to suggest that the marriage is over in some form.
11. He will Preen Around You
One of the signs a married man is in love with you is if he acts like a peacock during mating season.
He seems to dress and smell better around you.
If you have managed to spy on him around his mates, he does not appear that invested.
Once you approach, though, he will straighten his body, fix his clothes, and talk louder than the rest of his group.
A man is interested when he makes sure that you will notice him in a group setting.
He wants you to see that he is better than the other possible options out there, even though he is married, and some of them are probably not.
What do you do when you know he likes you?
After going through the signs above, you must have figured out that your married co-worker likes you.
If you are not interested in becoming a mistress or a homewrecker, what do you do?
Do you tell the person straight that you are not interested?
That is possible, especially if he is persistent.
If you feel like the guy is sensitive enough to get subtle signs, then you can start inching away from him.
Avoid being with him in intimate settings, even if you two are in the office.
Make sure somebody else is always there, being part of the conversation.
If he continues with his attempts to get close to you, you can file a complaint about him to HR.
Constant badgering can be considered harassment. If he is a decent enough guy, he will back off. If not, then you have a possible vindictive stalker.
You will need some help with this kind of issue.
If you are interested in him, what should you do?
Well, think again.
Perhaps the attention has been great for your ego, but what kind of future do you think you will have?
Let us put it this way. Why do you think he has gotten so far as expressing his interest in several ways?
He may have thought he had a chance with you. Isn’t that a little icky and insulting?
He must have, at the back of his mind, thought that you would welcome his illicit advances. It does not sound fairy-tale like, does it?
Even if you think he really loves you, and you are starting to fall for him, what are the odds that this relationship will work?
What if he really does leave his wife for you? What if there are kids involved?
Okay, yeah, married people with kids can still divorce if it is not working anymore.
It just won’t feel great to have it in your conscience the total destruction of a marriage.
Perhaps, they could have still mended what is wrong with it, but then you came along, pliant and willing.
It will not end well.
Chalk it up to experience.
You have had some exciting times, living on the edge. But, please, do not cross that line.
Can a man love his wife and girlfriend at the same time?
Yes, it is possible. A man may genuinely love his wife and a girlfriend on the side.
More likely, though, he loves one more than the other.
When the lies and deceit pile up, you will start wondering if he loves either of you for real, at all.
Polyamory is a possibility, but this requires the approval and consent of all three parties.
There will be an honest sitting down so that boundaries can be set.
Is that the kind of love you want to be in?
His wife has had him for herself for awhile.
On the other hand, you will be entering the situation when everything should have been pressed neatly.
You are the trouble that rumples the cloth.
A man who truly loves his wife could have chosen to sound everyone else out.
Why had he been open? Would he be equally available to a third woman once you are already in?
Domestic problems should not have caused him to stray.
He would have tried to sort them out first.
If he respects and truly loves you, he may also choose to end his existing relationship before making a move with you.
In the end, you must make your final decision.
The Final Say So!!
A married male co-worker may show intense interest in you.
Eventually, you will figure out whether it is love, a crush, or mere camaraderie.
The signs in this guide will help you.
Some men just do not let marriage stop them from expressing their romantic interest in somebody else.
For some of them, it may be merely sexual.
For others, it could be trouble from home, steering him in a different direction.
When you do discover what he is about, what follows should be a period of self-examination.
However, you must consider the severe consequences of being labeled as a homewrecker.
These ramifications will follow you even if your married suitor does end his marriage.
Talk to your married colleague to clear things out and make it clear that you are uncomfortable about the situation.
After all, you deserve to have a man all your own.
This was a good matter of fact and protective conversation that I needed to have with someone… if it’s a blog so be it
Still struggling with this but your bottom lines here are very clear and strong. Thank you.