You know you’ve met the right person when there is an immediate and undeniable chemistry. While you cannot claim love right away, there is something compelling about this person.
Why do they stand out among everybody else? There may not be anything specifically special that sets them apart, but you just have this strong feeling. You have found the one.
It is not just their looks, but also the way you want to keep talking to them. The more you spend time with them, the surer you are that you have found the perfect person.
If you are looking at the right guy, you may have triggered his Hero Instinct. There is something about you that also makes him pause and take you in. Every love story begins with this silent attraction.
Sadly, not every circumstance is ideal. A potential relationship may fizzle before it begins. Here are some signs you have issues with wrong timing.
Signs You are in a Right Person Wrong Time Situation
1. They are currently in a Committed Relationship
Often, you realize that a wonderful person cannot be single for long. This is especially true if both of you are not teens who are starting to find love in this world. The two of you have been around. It is just that, your right person has already found someone to commit to.
Before you came along, somebody else would have seen them as a soulmate. It could have worked out between the two of you, but they are already in a romantic relationship.
Competing against the years that the two of them had together would be emotional suicide. You may succeed in breaking the couple apart, but will you feel good about it?
Then, what if it is you who is romantically involved?
2. There is a wide Age Gap
People keep on saying, “age does not matter,” but it does, in a way. One of you, for example, may not have the emotional maturity to engage in a healthy relationship.
This may sound discriminatory, but it is true. You can end up struggling to find a legitimate reason.
If you are the younger person, you may miss out on things you still want to enjoy if your partner is more geared towards more serious stuff, such as starting a family.
On the other hand, if you are the older one, you may start questioning whether you are with the wrong person. What if they are just there for the excitement of it, being a much younger person?
3. One of you is set to have a Rebound Relationship
Your potential relationship still has snags. Your supposed right person is still affected by their past relationship. They may have just gone through a breakup or perhaps it was a long term relationship that still casts a shadow.
This is dangerous ground. Even if the two of you seemed enamored with each other, think again. Do you want to be haunted by a Rebecca, alive or dead? A previous relationship that continues to make itself felt is a large, undeniable red flag.
It is also challenging to gauge a rebound relationship. Do they really like you as you are or are they just afraid to be alone? You don’t want to be involved with someone who likes to hop from one relationship to another.
4. One of you is set to Leave
It is like a drama film. You have met and enjoyed some quality time. However, one of you has to leave. Perhaps, this special person has just been hired at their dream job overseas. It may be a matter of moving to a different neighborhood. They may have just sold their house.
Unless the two of you have something more tangible going on, you may not have the right to even plea, “Stay.”
5. Their Career is more Important for Them
Moving away may be because of a career. The whole affair may not even be a case of bad timing. Your supposed soul mate may have a case of career dedication.
Do you really want to play second fiddle to that career? Would you be willing to give up your own to pursue theirs? It is difficult to find the right timing for this sort of thing.
6. It would be a Long Distance Relationship
So, the attraction was strong and immediate. You considered spending the night on the first meeting, but you stopped yourself. Instead, you find another way to engage the guy’s attention. You made him feel needed in other ways instead. So, you find every excuse to make him help you out.
You are attracted to this guy. He is intrigued by your ability to trigger his Hero’s Instinct. However, he is just there for a week or a month. It turns out he is on vacation, from another state or even another country.
Would you be willing to get involved in a long distance relationship? Not only does this show poor timing, you are also in the wrong place.
7. You have Different Goals
It’s one thing to have opposites attract. But what if despite the attraction, your paths are leading to different directions?
When you want different things, it is nearly impossible to imagine a future together. For example, you may want a stable home with kids, but he would rather explore the world and immerse in adventure. Could it work? Perhaps, if the two of you can compromise.
However, if you two are too bent on pursuing your own goals, it just does not make sense to hurt each other more.
8. Your Lifestyles will Clash
Again, this is a case of opposites attract. It may seem cute, at first, but in the end it may not work out.
A party person and a homebody may be intrigued with each other’s differences. In the end, though, one will crave company while the other will crave seclusion. Not being able to enjoy activities together will drive the two of you apart. Again, it will require a lot of sacrifice and compromise to make something happen.
9. They show Emotional Unavailability
You have found yourself falling for somebody. You are even ready to be in a committed relationship. In reality, however, the whole thing is one-sided. The other person may not be comfortable with showing any emotion in your presence.
At the most, you are looking at a potential friend. It is also possible that you are interested in someone who does not want to be in an exclusive relationship. You are nothing much but a flirtation.
While this hurts, you may have to accept this early on before becoming hurt.
If you have made contact with this person using social media means, it would certainly have been impossible for you to gauge just how interested they are. You may simply be hoping for your ideal.
10. They begin to show their True Colors when you have Fallen for Them
There are people who seem perfect when you have first met them. You only know them on the surface. However, your attraction may have blinded you from seeing that this is not true love. It is merely an infatuation on your side.
It is even worse if they play along and let you fall harder. Then, when you are hooked, they would start showing who they really are.
This is how people get snared into an abusive relationship. It is not right to put yourself into so much emotional turmoil. This is no longer a case of wrong timing, but more of a case of meeting the wrong person.
What should you do, then?
It is a case to case basis. Whether you pursue your chance at true love, anyway, would depend on each situation.
You may want to ask yourself the following questions:
- Is it worth it? (e.g. moving to another state to live near them)
- Do they care about you the same way you care about them? (e.g. what if this is just infatuation, not love?)
- Would both of you be willing to make compromises? (eg. Will you be willing to participate in their interest as they in yours?)
- Would it negatively impact either of you? (e.g. Would this mean giving up on a dream or losing a lot of money?) You may actually see where their priorities lie when the dilemma is tight and difficult.
- Will it hurt someone? You may need to reflect on this. Perhaps they no longer love the other person but still care strongly about them.
- Will the two of you take some drastic measures that you won’t blame each other for in the future? (If they have to leave a committed relationship for you, would you be blamed for it in the future? Would you still hear about it? If so, this is not worth the pain.
- Are you only doing it because you are pressured to stay? Then, don’t do it. You are your own person. Fear should also not let you stay. You are not a hostage. Do not force the other person to stay, either. If triggering his Hero’s Instinct does not work, it means that his protective nature may be geared towards somebody else.
Whatever you do, you should look at the whole situation with an objective eye. Do not let your emotion take hold. If you are sure your partner is the right person at the wrong time, then you can set the rest right. You do not want to sacrifice everything for the wrong person.
Using His Secret Obsession
If you want a little help, you can consult a relationship expert. A person who can look at your situation objectively may be able to help you. While this one-on-one consultation can work, it can be expensive, too.
So, an affordable and discreet option can be considered. James Bauer’s His Secret Obsession may cost a lot for a book, at $47. However, it is already a relationship expert in a package. There is no need to subject yourself to several expensive sessions when you have everything you need in this product.
While there may be an attraction between you and your guy, you may want to raise it a few more notches. You want him to see that true love is possible between the two of you. He will realize how dear you are to him and how you should be part of his life.
With this in action, you may be able to clear some of the confusion in your mind. You will see whether it is okay to wait it awhile or is it better to walk away, emotionally unharmed.
You do not have control over everything. You cannot plan out all that can happen to your life. At work, you can follow a to-do list because everything depends on you. However, this is not the case with love. There is another person in the equation.
This person is not a puppet whose strings you can pull. He can be perfect, but he may not come at the right time. He may not even display the characteristics that your ideal partner must have. That is how life is. Sometimes, it works. Sometimes, it does not.
When you see that you can make it work, do not lose that chance. You may be missing out on a potential relationship. Do not give up too easily just because it is hard, but you should also not carry all the burden.
If you can make it work, you should pass on some of the pressure on him.
By triggering his Hero Instincts, you are giving him a chance to be attached to you. If he decides to stay away despite all your efforts, it means that he is meant for other things. You must let go.
His Secret Obsession can help you gauge just how much he feels about you. It may show you the way. Take that way. You will see that you don’t need to be a relationship expert to know what he feels.
There is still a chance that the right person at the wrong time can be made to stick around. Take that chance.
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