You think he likes you. You’ve seen all the signs, and you have been on more dates than other official couples.
Even your friends and family are starting to wonder. Your guy (as you think of him) is a little hesitant, but he does meet up with them and has been quite the charmer.
So, what is the problem? Why has he not made things official between the two of you?
You are starting to wonder if you have imagined everything. However, other people have seen the connection, and it could not have been a case of mass hysteria.
So Let me give you 14 Reasons He Doesn’t Want a Relationship with You although He Likes You
1: The Chemistry is One-Sided
The guy you like may not even be seeing you as his woman. You may be seeing love when it is not there.
So, he may actually like you – but not in the same intensity that you like him. He may just be interested in casual dating, and he likes you fairly enough for that.
If you have been hanging out with no intimacy involved, he may even think of you as a friend. So, that chemistry that you may have imagined is just him being nice.
Even if he is the nicest guy ever, it does not make sense to stay when you are looking for a man who is willing to change your dating profile status.
2: He has Dreams He cannot Give Up
It is also possible that he really likes you the way you want him to. However, he has goals that will not allow him to have any type of love life.
He is already in a committed relationship – with his dreams! Perhaps he is an athlete who has to focus on his practice. He may also be on the verge of moving away because of his career choices.
It is not that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. He probably just does not want to hurt you in the long run. This guy probably wanted to tell you goodbye, but he is also drawn to you and wants to make the most of the time you have together.
3: You don’t trigger his Hero Instinct
Everyone says the two of you look great together. He is a person who may be polite enough not to say otherwise. The two of you even get along.
However, something is missing. He may not be willing to be called your boyfriend because you don’t trigger his Hero Instinct.
What is this instinct all about?
It is an old notion that women trigger a certain brand of protectiveness in the man that they have a long term relationship with.
You will know that you are in a real relationship when your man has this urge to keep you safe no matter what. He wants to be your personal hero, not just a man you have casual sex with.
4: You don’t Make him Feel Needed
But how do you trigger his Hero’s Instinct if you don’t even make him feel needed? A man wants to be in a romantic relationship in which he is needed. It makes him feel useful.
So, yes, you may be an independent woman, but you are looking for a man who can take care of you. It will not take away your value as a woman, but it will just mean that you are willing to be in a committed relationship.
Why would he want to commit if he can tell from your body language that you are also unsure of this being true love.
5: He Plays the Field and Prefers it
So, he likes you, based on his body language. The problem is that he also likes a bunch of other women.
He does not seem to be that interested in an exclusive relationship. One day, he is with you on a date. The next day, he would be with Laura, Christina, or Maria.
It just does not seem to be worth the effort to wait for this guy to become official boyfriend material.
You don’t need another reason to walk out of this possibly toxic relationship. If you want the man in question as a good friend, why not? On the other hand, if you seek the right guy, it is time to let go.
6: He is Scared of Commitment
Not everyone who avoids an official relationship is a player. Some are just afraid to commit for various reasons.
For your guy, there may be a finality to being in an exclusive relationship. He does not want to make a mistake. This is a guy who will only call his partner a certain title when he is very sure.
7: He has been Burned Before
Maybe he does not want to commit because he has been in a painful relationship before. He has been hurt, and he does not want it to happen again.
A clear sign that this is the case is if he cannot even talk about his past relationship. There is still something about it that does not allow him to move on – not just yet.
If you can feel a semblance of true love between you, perhaps it is worth it to sit down and talk about how you can move on from here. Tell him how it hurts to stick around if what you have has no chance of developing.
Perhaps injecting honesty into the situation will help you get the clarity that you want.
8: You are Merely a Backup
Does it seem like you are only a proxy for someone else? Does it seem like he is merely practicing for when the right woman comes along?
How would you know that? Some signs are clearer than others. This guy may only be there when the other woman is not available. I mean, yes, you are aware that he is playing the field, and you are allowed to do so, as well, but he always makes you feel like you are in second place. That is not healthy at all.
Do you really want to stay if you feel like you are on the backup date? There is a big chance that you don’t see him as a spare. You are reading this article that says that you care too much and may not be hooking up with other guys like the two you originally agreed on.
It is time to leave. There is no reason to stay.
9: You have Hurt him Along the Way
A serious conversation is important because you may not know that you are the cause of his pain. You may have done something that you did not feel was offensive.
If you want him to be a better man for you, you must also want to be a better woman for him.
Knowing what hurt your guy (as you want to refer to him) will be the next step towards a healthy relationship. The two of you just need to talk things out more regularly.
10: Money is Tight
Believe it or not, money can be a factor that prevents your guy from committing to an actual relationship with you. He just may not have enough money, according to his own calculation.
You may think money will not affect a relationship but think again.
One, your guy may not feel that comfortable about not giving you what you want. This is especially true if the relationship ends in marriage.
Two, your guy may still be helping out his parents and other immediate family members.
Three, your guy may be investing his money in a business that he hopes would take off before he can officially call you his girlfriend.
Now, it is true that it is unfair for him to expect that you should hang around with a lot of uncertainty in mind. However, he may be torn between making you stick around because he loves you and letting you go so that you can find a man who will not make you wait for a clear sign.
You don’t need a relationship coach to tell you that this is another situation wherein the two of you should sit and make a plan.
If you are still willing to stay with him despite the financial woes, then tell him. Together, make a plan to get him out of his desperate situation.
11: The Connection is Mostly Physical
What if every time you are together, you end up in bed? It does not seem as you get around to having a conversation without him keeping his hands to himself.
This is a bad sign that he is only in it for casual sex. You don’t have to be a relationship expert to know that something is very wrong.
Yes, he acts all so nice to you. So, you think he likes you the way you like him. But all of that is just to get into your pants. Some men just think about sex all the time. The good guys are the ones who want to get to know you beyond your looks.
If he were a better man, he would not put you into the difficult position of being in a casual relationship against your own will.
Of course, he will know if you are looking for love life and an actual relationship.
12: He does not want to Make a Mistake
Maybe your guy wants to be a relationship hero. What does this mean? This means that he wants to be perceived as a good man who does not want to hurt you. He wants people to see him as perfect, or at least close to it.
But guess what?
Yes, he ends up hurting you with this kind of attitude. If he really is in love with you, he will not hesitate to commit to an exclusive relationship. He would be afraid to lose you. He would have noticed that you are starting to question everything.
Isn’t that what you are doing right now since you are reading this article?
13: You have Become a Habit
It is also possible that he hangs around because you have become a habit. You two don’t necessarily have to have a physical relationship for this to happen. Your guy has just gotten used to seeing you, flirting with you, and even confiding in you.
Again, the setup makes it seem as if you are a real couple in an actual relationship. However, the two of you are still caught up in a whirlwind of confusion.
Would you want to be this hard habit to break? Or would you like to go to the next level, and be the woman that he loves for real.
Yes, it may be a good sign if he does not know how to let you go. However, if he still finds an excuse or two not to commit, you also may have to think twice. You are not a toy or a source of entertainment. Be clear about that.
14: He is Lonely
He likes you enough. When you are there, he is not alone with his thoughts. Be honest to yourself, though. The two of you want different things.
Perhaps, for him, you are merely a friend with benefits. For you, he is that one good thing in your life. Would you want to be that girl who is just there to make him smile? Would he be willing to do the same for you?
If he is lonely, he needs to deal with his feelings. He needs to get checked by a therapist even. As for you, you need to find ways to get out as early as you can. Do not let those puppy dog eyes get to you. If he truly cares, he will find a way to get you back.
Is it worth it to wait around for when he changes his mind?
Well, is he confused about not wanting a relationship at this point? If he told you point-blank that he does not want to be involved in such a way, believe him.
Let go.
The only reason that you should stay in such a relationship is if you do not want one. Maybe you two are enjoying each other’s company, with no strings attached. Then, you have found the right match for you.
However, you have given enough time and attention to him that it does not seem like this is what you want.
So, let go. You will find someone who will value you for who you are โ someone who desires a lover who will commit and stay.
So What Should You Do?
The above are the top 14 reasons he likes you but does not want a relationship with you. It is important to know what they are because they assure you that it is not your fault. He is the one who is not ready to take the next step. Even if there is something that you must have done to hurt him, he should be man enough to tell you what he feels.
Do you want to commit to one man?
If not, then you and your current guy will have a breeze staying in the friend zone or friends with benefits territory.
If you do, then you may want to move on. You should not have to wait for any man to become more decisive.
