The Hickey or Hickie, otherwise known as the love bite in British English, has always made quite the statement!
I remember in high school when Marga showed up in P.E. with that pinkish love mark on her neck. No one could concentrate on the laps.
We all wanted to know how to give a hickey, and to rebuke our giggles, Ms. Drew made us do push-ups instead.
If the school could probably round up its Google searches for that day, surely “how to make a hickey” made it in the top 3.
Did you know
Havelock Ellis, a psychologist, researched that male mammals frequently nibbled at female mammals’ necks during mating. It was then that the study was mentioned in the academic journal Studies in the Psychology of Sex.
Did you know that the word “hickey” became part of the English language in 1934 but has been in existence way before then?
How do you even give a hickey? That was probably one of your first adolescent inquiries, next to “how do I get my crush to notice me?”
After all, ever since Marga showed up with a visible hickey in school, Tom’s new arm tattoo became boring news.
If you want to get scientific, a hickey is nothing more than a bruise on a pressurized area or a broken blood vessel, and can also be referred to as “ecchymosis.” A related article on WebMD is assuring that this blood clot isn’t that big of a concern.
Date night and passionate kisses glamorize the bruise into the much-celebrated hickey.
Movies showing girls in turtlenecks the next day or panicking in front of the mirror about that purple mark are always the consequence of an epic date.
No one ever complained; they just covered it up.
Let’s make it clear—even guys can get hickeys too!
They can better tolerate the nips and bites, and they rarely have problems the next day. Damn these guys with their pants and suits.
If you’re up and ready for some hot date action, remember how to give hickeys to make your night more passionate and memorable. Love bites make a sexy souvenir and wouldn’t be a problem if you keep them in the more hidden parts.
Got a date planned soon? How do you give a hickey? Ask no further, since we know you’re dying to take that (love) bite.
Here is the simple process for how to give a hickey to help you leave your mark:
If you want to give yourself a hickey, then check out this article.
1. Ask Permission
Before you dive into the fun, start with the basic courtesy. Get your partner’s consent, especially if you’re the one giving the hickey.
You don’t need to have this signed on paper—I’m sure you’re in a hurry to make out—but secure a verbal confirmation that your partner is okay with this.
2. Make your Mood
Best to start slow. Set the mood with candles, jazz music, and kissing.
Speeding up to the love bite will be a mood killer and make you seem like the anxious date.
You also risk being branded as Dracula for the rest of your dating life.
3. Location, Location, Location
While commonly planted on the neck, you can leave a hickey on any part of the body.
Collarbones, back of the neck, inner thigh, or even the elbow could be pleasure points. You can even leave a collection of hickey marks on the stomach area, so long as you don’t wear a cropped top the next day.
These covered parts would be ideal for those who don’t want to be chastised by Grandma at the next family reunion.
4. Is that O-kay?
Once you’ve selected the spot, start by forming an O with your lips and planting them on your partner’s skin.
Think of your lips like a vacuum. Air shouldn’t escape from this seal or suction, as you suck the skin carefully for 20 to 30 seconds.
As you suck, you should break some tiny blood vessels but minus any pain—only pleasure in the erogenous zone.
Suck it a little harder if you want to liven up the passion some more. There’s no need to rush or pucker until it hurts.
Tip: The key to the smooth sucking motion is to keep your lips soft and moisturized.
5. Go easy, Tiger
Did you know that people with iron deficiency tend to bruise more and for longer periods? Vitamin C and other minerals should help with the bruising.
Certain areas, like the partner’s neck, have more veins that can break and lend to the more prominent bluish signature colour.
If your partner is wary about these visible points of the broken capillaries, find other areas.
Sucking too hard may be painful or uncomfortable for your partner. Always check if she’s still feeling the moment.
Keep sucking in a slow and steady motion, and alternate it by sucking a bit harder for a few seconds, then back to gentle.
Tip: Switch your style to make it more interesting. You can use your tongue on the area while sucking, or take 15-second breaks in between your intense nipping sessions.
6. Count Dracu-Love Bite
It may be called a love bite, but by no means does it include an actual bite.
Using your teeth might make the area sore so keep it to the playful sucking.
7. Slobs and Kisses
Sucking for nearly 30 seconds may entail a lot of salivae. Don’t be a slob, and try to control your saliva on the hickey area.
Top tip: You can practice how to give a fake hickey on your arm. This way, you’ll know how not to slobber, which can be a real deal-breaker.
8. Kiss and Make Up
Continue to kiss around the area to keep the passion flowing. If you’re planning to transition to a different area, again, just keep things slow and smooth.
9. Purple Marks the Spot
A purplish blotch should appear within a minute—your work of art.
Spend this time to check if she liked it, hated it, or wanted more. If she insists on the maximum pressure level, then you’re probably the Picasso of hickeys, or you could have also been gentle at the start, which is never a bad thing.
You just got the go-signal to turn your love bites up a notch, so get ready for a major make-out session.
10. Lovin’ it
You can resume sucking on the same area, following the steps you did earlier. Try sucking with a bit more pressure to get her heated up, as requested.
Don’t let your repeat customer down. The objective is to get her to ask for more.
11. The Night is Young
Now that you’ve successfully given your first successful visible hickey, the next steps are up to you and your partner.
Does she want you to explore other areas? Is she hinting at more intimate parts?
Or, is the mood moving towards a more sensual act? Maybe it’s her turn to give you the perfect hickey.
Read the signs of the moment, and go with the flow.
Was it a 5-star love mark for you, or did you start all slobbery during your first time? How to even give a hickey that would get you 5 stars?
We’ve all been there, even the accidental nibbling, and let’s just say not everyone gets it right the first time.
Just be thankful that you survived. In 2011, a lady in New Zealand died from a heart attack that resulted from a hickey. Love bites may cause a blood clot near the carotid artery that can be deadly too.
If your only after-party issue is the slightly visible mark on your neck, then today’s modern solutions will get that covered and make the healing process faster.
- Put ice, cold compress, or a cold spoon on that area to improve blood flow. Use a warm compress after 24 hours to get the blood circulation flowing.
- Drink Vitamin C and E to help ease your broken blood vessel.
- Arnica gel can help soothe the area and promote healing.
- Apply your thickest concealer that matches your skin tone to get maximum coverage.
- You’re in luck if you live in a cold area, so you can get away with wearing a turtleneck.
- For those living in warmer regions, you can try a light shawl or scarf.
- Wear your hair down if it can cover the hickey.
They did say to balance work and life—and a lot of love on the side. A neck hickey shouldn’t be a stigma for a sexually charged lady. They’re a sign that you’re in love and having a lot of fun—and surely beats a kiss mark.
While we can’t wear it with pride, a hickey is a clandestine reminder of a smouldering date, love relationship, or a steaming night with a special person. Best of all, you can always ask for more. How to get a hickey? Just ask.
Just remember Rizzo from Grease (1978) when you’re in the same situation.
Rizzo: I got a lot of hickeys people think I’m a leper.
Kenickie: Relax. A hickey from Kenickie’s akin to a Hallmark card – you only care enough to send the very best!
Well said, Kenickie.