So, you are in a less than typical relationship.
People have been whispering about how the female has the final say.
I get you. I have been there – as the female part of the equation.
Is it so bad for a romantic partnership to be led by the female?
A female led relationship (FLR) goes against the patriarchy, or so it seems. However, it is not meant to demean and step on men. It is just the most efficient setup in some cases.
Instead of the relationship being led by the man, the woman acts as the dominant partner.
She makes crucial decisions, which her man submits to and does not mind.
In some cases, the woman metaphorically wears the pants: proposing marriage, paying for dinner, and initiates milestones such as kisses and dates.
This guide will explore various aspects of this type of relationship, where gender roles are swapped, and the traditional relationship is thrown out the window.
Major Differences Between Female Led Relationship and Male Led Relationship
How does an FLR fare against a male-led relationship (MLR)?
Well, the leading partner is different in each case, for one. There is also a change in the authority figure going from one to the other.
Both FLR and MLR have their strengths and weaknesses.
In the end, the differences will depend on the personalities of the man and woman involved.
You could, however, say that the MLR is the more acceptable arrangement in society.
This is the type of relationship that everyone expects from since the dawn of man. The man works as the breadwinner and protector of the relationship and family.
He has the natural, biological strength to play these roles.
Nevertheless, the FLR is more groundbreaking, allowing both men and women to push through their gender roles’ limitations.
It wakes up people to the fact that not all women are content with staying at home and being meek, while not all men want to assert dominant authority.
Characteristics of FLR
Here are some of the features of a female-led relationship:
- The female makes most of the decisions, crucial or not. Her partner may make suggestions, and it is up to her if she wants to consider them. In the most respectful setups, she does. If she rejects the recommendations, she will have to give a reason or provide a better route.
- The man helps with chores, such as cleaning and cooking, though household work is distributed between the two partners.
- The female makes the financial decisions, and the husband or boyfriend trusts her with the couple’s money.
- The woman motivates the man to get rid of vices or to move upward in his career.
- The female arranges for the social gatherings that they hold for others and attend to. She knows which social circles to best navigate.
Levels of Female Led Relationship
Not all female-led relationships are equal. There are various types according to the level of control exerted by the woman. Here are some types:
– Low-Level Control
The control here is merely granted by the male, as is agreed upon by both parties.
The two have expressly opted to make decisions mutually. So, the man willingly steps back in some situations.
On the other hand, the woman may even ask for permission for her choices because they have mutual control.
– Moderate-Level Control
The woman takes the reins for a certain period as a boost to her confidence.
Being a happy partner, she enjoys being in the relationship more. Her man also prefers it this way, being ruled and guided through, so he does not have any complaints.
While the two are satisfied with the woman making the daily decision-making, she knows that she must set some limits to her own sense of control.
– Defined Control
The partners have made clear demarcations on which aspects of the relationship the woman can make decisions on. This helps avoid any confusion when it comes to crucial situations.
– Extreme Control
In this case, the woman is the total dominant. She has a naturally powerful personality that makes her a reasonable leader in the relationship. Her partner is present to follow her lead.
Why Do People Seek FLR?
Those who are used to the man leading in the relationship may wonder why people actively seek FLR.
Well, obviously, it must benefit one partner or both for it to work. Here are some benefits that give this type of relationship a boost:
- Women are more likely to communicate, thus creating an atmosphere of openness.
- This usually leads to fewer disagreements when the male consciously steps back from the leadership role.
- Both partners become more attentive.
- Both partners feel freer to express their feelings.
- When women are pleased in the relationship, she would be more willing to give in to the man’s requests. This satisfaction often translates to better action in the bedroom.
- There is a clear division or even sharing of responsibilities, as women are more likely to acknowledge the need for variations.
- The relationship is not tied down solely by children and gender roles. It is carried by mutual respect. It is even initiated by respect, coming from the male who gave up his natural role to humble himself to a woman he loves.
Advantages for Women
A female-led relationship presents several benefits to women. Here are some of them:
- It serves as an affirmation to women who like to be in command. It shows them that it is okay to want to control things, not just with what goes on in the kitchen but also with handling finances and other aspects of the relationship.
- It gives a woman the chance to help mold her perfect partner. She can provide the guiding voice that will help her man achieve his full potential.
- The man would better appreciate the woman in the relationship, being in awe of how she can take charge.
Advantages for Men
Women undeniably appreciate being able to take the reins. However, what does a female-led relationship to the male? What does it feel like to submit to female authority?
- He does not have to worry about responsibilities.
- He does not have to worry about the consequences of individual decisions.
- The man can enjoy peace because there is no power struggle to break it.
Do Female Led Relationships Work?
Female-led relationships work when both romantic partners enter them with full acceptance, love, and respect.
Communication should always be a priority in these cases.
Yes, the woman leads, but she also needs to hear from her guy from time to time.
Does he still like the setup? Does he have anything to recommend?
As with any type of relationship, the FLR will work if both partners are committed and agreeable to the setup.
Just because it is female-led does not mean to say that it is only suitable to the female half of the partnership.
Challenges & The Ways FLR can go wrong and Their Workaround
The non-traditional relationship may be acceptable to the couple, but society’s expectations may continue to plague them.
It is up to them if these will affect them in any way.
The couple must realize that if they do not find any problems with their setup, they do not have to worry about what other people say.
Problems can also arise within the relationship structure. For example, the male may be too afraid to say anything against the setup even if he is no longer happy.
He may worry that if he complains, the peaceful veneer will fall apart.
This is where communication comes in. A woman in charge may be freer to accept opinions being said, at least if she leads the relationship with moderate or definite control.
Doing away with extreme control also helps both partners feel more comfortable in their setup.
Each should regularly check if each partner is still happy with the dynamics of the relationship.
The woman should check on her partner for feelings of inadequacy.
If these feelings are sprouting up, something must be done to correct the setup because it is no longer healthy.
How To Set Up FLR in an Efficient Way that it works
An effective female-led relationship should hinge on respect.
The woman should make sure that she is not stepping on her partner’s dignity when she makes decisions for both of them.
However, respect goes both ways.
The man should also see this setup to be more relaxed and take over domestic duties for once.
If the two started with an MLR, the FLR is an opportunity for him to experience her POV.
He should also show respect by acknowledging that he has responsibilities even in the FLR setup.
He cannot just sit idly and let his woman do all the work. He must willingly contribute.
What are the experiences of men in a female-led relationship?
Some men have expressed their satisfaction about being in an FLR.
They like that they can step back and relax when they get home.
Perhaps they have roles of authority at work and just want to lay low at home.
A man usually goes into an FLR willingly. He knows what he is getting into and recognize that he is in the presence of a dominant woman.
Some are happy about being able to fulfill the dream of staying at home. Being domestic is not strictly part of society’s expectations of men.
However, some men are over the idea of playing gender roles. They want to be in more zen surroundings.
Let us admit it: some men are in an FLR because they are intrigued about being dominated in the bedroom.
They are aware that they are in a relationship with women who know what they want and go after it.
What are the experiences of women in an FLR?
Women like that they have finally pushed one glass ceiling by being the lead in a relationship.
A woman in an FLR does not have to wear literal pants (but they can!).
She can be a girly-girl but still have the decisiveness of a shrewd political leader. She is good at managing every aspect of her life and is pleased to wield some power over her love life.
Women in FLR are your boss wives, tiger moms, career go-getters, and dominatrices. They feel a sense of achievement.
Those who truly love their partners are grateful for being allowed to take the reins.
Would women consider a female lead relationship with the male taking the traditional female role?
Women are tired of being relegated to traditional female roles of cleaner, cook, and caregiver.
Those who feel trapped in conventional marriages are unappreciated and neglected. So, modern-thinking women will not mind having their husbands take over the home for once.
They have always been seeking validation for the complexity of their roles.
They would also like someone who would be willing to share responsibilities in the domestic arena.
They find helpful men who are not afraid of not adhering to masculinity’s rules more attractive than the oiled and polished guy who just sits at home and watch television while his wife scrubs the floor.
Does being passive in a female-led relationship lead to emasculation?
Technically, being passive in any type of relationship can lead to emasculation.
For example, a man who is ineffective as the household leader should also consider this possibility.
Similarly, a man who has become so passive in an FLR that you barely know he exists may be on his way to emasculation.
But what is a man, anyway?
Here, we are treading on dangerous ground because emasculation concepts may well come from the knowledge of traditional relationships.
A man that a woman can genuinely respect is someone who can be there for her no matter what the setup is like.
In an FLR, a man should still be an active participant in the household. He still has responsibilities and ideas.
He just needs to see how a relationship looks like through the eyes of the submissive partner.
Women have been doing it for centuries. Yet, they continue to be productive and helpful. He must strive for the same.
What are some good books and web communities about female led relationships?
Examples of Self-Help Books
- Love & Obey: The World’s Best Female Led Relationship Guide by Marissa Rudder
- A Woman’s Guide To a Female Led Relationship by Victoria West
- Female Led Relationship Guide: How to Be a Femdom and Have the Perfect Female Domination Domestic Discipline Marriage by Conner Hayden
- How To Set Up An FLR by Georgia Ivey Green
Notice that there are not many options yet, at least, none widely praised and reviewed by top critics.
This lifestyle is just gaining traction, at least publicly. Some people are living the FLR life without even knowing it themselves.
A man may think that he is merely living the life he always wanted, as a man who fully respects his wife and girlfriend.
The relationship itself has no labels.
On the other hand, some men are only attracted to the FLR lifestyle because of the promise of hotter sex.
Some of the FLR books on Amazon and Goodreads strongly suggest that people associate women’s leadership with more sexual satisfaction on both sides.
It is time that some people realize that FLR is much more than that.
Some of the FLR communities online know that the lifestyle goes beyond the physical. They welcome like-minded people to share their thoughts. Others, however, offer their support but with a subscription fee.
Examples of Communities
- Loving FLR Communities (lovingflr.com)
- FLR Style (flrstyle.com)
What might be some reasons a woman would not be receptive to a female-led relationship?
A woman may strive to get what she wants in a relationship, but she also craves being pampered and protected.
She may be ashamed to say that she has conventional needs, but these needs may well be why she may not exactly want to be in an FLR.
She may also want the man to take charge and put the food on the table, and let her be free from time to time.
Leading the relationship, mostly when the children also gravitate towards you for support, can be overwhelming.
Women have similarly been notably exhausted even in male-led relationships; being in charge of an FLR can be doubly exhausting.
Women want to have a say in a relationship. They want to be appreciated, but they also want to be given a break.
A woman may also shy away from an FLR if expectations include too much kinkiness in the bedroom.
She would like to be satisfied more, thus the desire to be dominant.
However, being respected and obeyed just because they can do something in exchange is not the way for them.
The Final Say So!!
A female-led relationship (FLR) can work just like any other relationship.
It is non-traditional, but it should still rely on respect and communication to keep it afloat and thriving.
Even the submissive should have an active part in the romantic partnership. This is not slavery; this is a loving relationship where it takes two to make it work.
Yes, the woman leads the way, but any leader needs ample support to make things work.
The man should agree to an FLR, not because of laziness, irresponsibility, or the promise of sex, but because he loves his woman unconditionally.