Did your partner cheat on you? Do you need to know how to get over being cheated on?
First, you need to know that this is not the end of the world. Nevertheless, it is common to experience emotional anguish, act irrational, and express resentment after such a discovery.
Infidelity inflicts emotional pain on an individual, which could turn one’s life topsy-turvy. Your feelings are hurt, and during this time, your emotions get messy and uncontrollable.
While it is perfectly normal to feel this way, your steps towards recovery are essential. Wallowing in them will never bring you the self-satisfaction you desire, so why not get over them consciously.
This article discusses five crucial steps to help you get over being cheated on by your significant other. Let’s proceed.
5 Steps To Get Over Being Cheated On
After a heartbreak, some individuals might even lose interest in relationships but bouncing back is possible. The choice is yours as you could choose to get over the bad memories or flounder in them.
Below are some handy tips to make you get over a cheating past and move on with your life without any hindrance. These tips will help you escape that cave of pain and mold you into a better person.
Do not expect a sudden turnaround as it might take a while for them to work. With consistent effort, you will begin to see changes in yourself gradually.
Step 1: Do not Blame Yourself
Due to low self-esteem, some find it easy to fault themselves rather than others. This attitude is a natural response to cheating; however, you are not responsible for your partner’s actions.
You are only responsible for your actions and how you choose to process the hurt. Blaming yourself will in no way speed recovery. You have to channel the blame to the defaulter.
No matter what might have happened before the act of infidelity, the whole fault lies on the cheater. Blame the cheating partner and get those low thoughts out of your head.
Remember that during this time, you might have messy, conflicting emotions due to the feeling. Reflecting on your faults would only give your erring partner an edge over you.
You might begin to question your imperfections and, as a result, burden your mental health immensely. Get a grip of your emotions before you fall over the edge completely. This step is the first action toward your healing process.
Step 2: Talk to Someone About it
After discovery, you need so much help you could get from people. Do not contact those who don’t understand you and won’t look at things from your perspective, as it might blow the issue all up.
This whole issue is an emotional affair, and it would be best if you had someone to sympathize with your grief. If you have a couple of close, supportive friends or a family member who would not mind hearing you out, reach out to them for help.
The person could be a sibling, parent, a close neighbor, a relationship hero in your circle, or a couple you trust. Anyone who understands you better should be your solace during this time.
Many emotions are going through your head; you need someone to help you take your mind off it. This point is where your friend(s) come in.
Dealing with such alone is possible but not advisable. You might sink deep into depression. The person’s role is to cheer you up as much as possible and take your mind off it.
Recollecting memories help during this time. Old memories could make you smile. For someone who knows you well, they should know things that could cheer you up.
However, your friends can not give you the advice you dearly need. They might hear you out but share biased views on the issue.
You need to seek help from a reliable person.
Step 3: Get Professional Help
While your friends are ready to support you in whatever decision you make in the future, get professional therapy. There are not enough relationship or marriage counseling sessions you could get.
Seek help from these professionals. They have proven techniques to help you overcome the pain and live past it.
When you get a professional relationship therapist, ensure to confide in the person. It helps relieve your burden fully. It is similar to offloading a burden unto the person’s shoulders.
These individuals provide a comfortable atmosphere for the outpouring of minds. While you may pour out your mind to a close person without candid opinions, a professional differs.
They would hear you out and recommend what to do next. Some might recommend books or related articles for you to read.
Most times, they also check up on their clients. It would make you feel loved from all corners. Love is what you need.
When you start therapy, ensure that you are consistent with it. Your counselor can do their best to help you; however, you have to cooperate with the person.
It would be best if you were serious with your sessions to speed up healing. Do not relent in the pursuit of your happiness.
Step 4: Take a Break
You need to take your mind off things that would put pressure on you while you are healing. You wouldn’t want the help you’re getting to amount to nothing.
Social media puts a lot of pressure on people, which isn’t good for your mental health. During this time, you must guard yourself against such things as a betrayed partner.
Instead of social media, you could watch movies, play games, read novels, meditate often, learn a skill, or sleep more. You can also eat out, exercise daily, make new friends, visit the orphanage, take a walk in the park, journal, buy a pet, or go hiking.
You could do a whole lot of things to aid healing. Fun differs for people, so choose your activities carefully. It might be reading novels but be sure that your decision matters a lot.
This time is crucial because you are gradually reaching a climax in your healing. Any little mistake could cost you all you have done. You could slip back into depression if not careful. Make sure to do things that make you happy.
Look for the things that place pressure on you and block them out. Especially connections with your partner, you are trying to heal. Seeing a betrayer might send your emotions spiraling out of control.
Step 5: Think about Yourself and What you Want Going Forward
Remember that you are all that matters now, and think about these carefully after you have healed fully.
What exactly do you want? No one can identify what is best for you than yourself. After you must have taken enough professional help and can now stand on your own independently, analyze what you want forward.
You need a clear head to think about all these. It might take you a month to arrive at your answer. Yes! It is better than making mistakes once again. Process your thoughts carefully.
Do you still want your partner, or do you have a growing smoke of hatred? Are you still willing to forgive the partner and continue loving your partner like before? Can you let it go or offer them a second chance?
If yes, you need to know what your partner feels.
Is your partner ready to acknowledge their mistake? Do they still love you, and are they remorseful enough? Are they prepared to seek help to avoid cheating again? Have they broken all connections with the third party? How far are they willing to show that they are sorry?
Most cheat because they are already tired of the marriage or relationship; you might have to analyze the situation carefully. Trust issues are more likely to happen at this stage, and you may get paranoid about little things such as missing your calls.
If you still want the marriage or relationship after analyzing, create time with your partner for a discussion focused on building a healthy relationship. You both need to talk out things carefully.
Find a comfortable atmosphere for both. It might be your favorite restaurant. Find out what spurred the cheating and how to nip it.
Talk out things and what you want going forward. State your rules to avoid another heartbreak. See things from each other’s perspectives, make amends, and emphasize building trust.
If you are not ready to go through the stress after analyzing, cut all connections to the person and move on.
Get to make new friends. Go out often; who knows, you might meet a new partner. When you do see one, talk things out before starting a relationship. Let the person know of your fears.
If they are willing, then you can start a relationship.
Tips To Follow In A New Relationship After Being Cheated On
- Be more open to each other. It aids communication and prevents any secrets between the both of you.
- Do not hesitate to seek relationship advice from time to time.
- Be positive and never expect everyone to be like your cheating ex. Give your new relationship the room to thrive.
- Total honesty is needed. It might seem not very easy, but it is achievable. Remember that you both are on a journey of healing; if one falls, the other should be there to help.
- Do not refer to the past or bring negative feelings from your past relationship. No one is above mistakes. The past is a mistake; the future is an opportunity.
- Keep tabs on each other. You can examine yourself by the end of the day, week, or month to see where you erred. Then you readjust.
- Live in love. All that you do should be about love. Then the relationship will blossom above all odds
You have to note that being cheated on doesn’t stop you from finding love again. Not all are the same, but you have to be careful. Once bitten twice shy, they say.
If you need to take a break from relationships to plan better, please do. A cheating partner is not the end of the world. Get up from that hole of self-pity you have dug for yourself.
You can still smile again. Follow the above steps, and you will live your best life again.