Break-ups, in general, are a very messy business.
The fighting, the letting go, the feeling of tug-and-pull of whether to go back or not is just but a scratch on the surface of break-ups. No matter how it ended or who initiated it, break-ups are painful for both parties.
However, at times, break-ups can also be means for a relationship to become stronger.
There have been a lot of couples who went through break-ups and managed to become stronger afterward.
Some couples even went on to get married. However, how would you know if it’s really game over between the two of you or will he come back?
We’ve listed down 15 signs that your ex will come back.
15 Signs Your Ex will Come Back
1. He stays in touch with you (or your family and friends)
If he still greets you on your birthday. If he still remembered that you were taking this exam and wished you good luck, chances are he will come back.
Often, parties who no longer have the desire to come back in a relationship cut off all ties. This process is called the no-contact rule. The ex will block your calls and text messages, unfriend you on social media, and stop contacting you altogether.
This method is said to speed up the moving on process. This is why an ex who still makes an effort to keep in touch with you, your family, and your friends will most likely come back.
2. He Asks about You with Your Mutual Friends
He has badgered your mutual friends about how things are going with you.
He asks them how you are and if you’re healthy and whatnot. He asks your friends if you’re seeing someone new.
He asks about your love life. This is a good sign that your ex still wants you back.
3. He keeps Asking if you’re Seeing Someone Else
Your ex-boyfriend has asked you if you’re in a new relationship. This may seem counterintuitive to the question, “will he ever come back?” However, believe it or not, this is a man’s way of checking if you’re still available.
He wants to make sure that you aren’t seeing a new person and that there is still space for him in your heart and your life. This is a question asked not just out of curiosity.
4. He Stalks You on Social Media
If you haven’t unfriended him on social media and he still likes your posts a lot, that means he is keeping tabs on you.
This is one of his ways of checking how you’re doing in life and if you’re already dating again.
If he has unfollowed you, you caught him accidentally liking your post and unliking it again. If he does this a lot, there is a good chance that your ex-boyfriend is thinking of rekindling your relationship.
5. He Still has Your Things
Most people often “cleanse” their things after a break-up. They throw away gifts, letters, and anything that can remind them of their ex in hopes of hastening the moving-on process.
Some return these to their ex. Others even go to extreme lengths like destroying or burning the belongings of their ex left with them.
But the bottom line is, a person usually gets rid of their ex’s stuff in hopes of ‘removing’ them from their life.
So, if your ex-boyfriend still has your things, most likely he cannot part with them yet because he’s hoping to come back to you.
6. He still Treats You the Same Way
He still calls you by your terms of endearment, he still asks how your day was, or he still sends you flowers.
These are signs that your ex-boyfriend wants you to get back together.
This is a man’s attempt at reliving the romance, and showing you that he still loves you and is very much interested in resuming the relationship.
7. He’s Concerned About You
He heard that you were recently down with the flu. He rushes to your side and brings you your favorite soup and some flu medicines.
He shows concern not only about your health but your well-being in general.
He also checks up and shows concern for your family and friends.
He tries to be there when things get tough. He still talks to your dad and asks how he is.
He’s still friends with them on social media and frequently interacts with them. He still greets them on their birthdays.
8. He is Walking Down Memory Lane
It’s weird how he suddenly posts an old photo of your favorite hang-out place on social media.
He posted that he’s still listening to your favorite song. He also posted that he made your favorite dish on a random Saturday morning.
He is clearly sending you a signal that he misses you.
9. He’s Making Excuses to See You
He suddenly reaches out to you about that shirt he left at your house. He suddenly needs a check-up because he has an aching back so he needs to see you, his doctor-ex.
He suddenly has problems with his landlord so he’s trying to ask you, his lawyer-ex, about rental laws.
If he keeps on reaching out to you with lousy excuses, that simply means one thing – he just wants to see you.
This is one of the biggest answers to your question – will he come back? And that is a big yes.
10. He’s Trying to Impress You
What better way to woo back an ex by showing that you have turned over a new leaf?
It is a definite sign that your ex wants to come back when he keeps on proving to you that he has changed for the better.
He is addressing all the issues you have had with him when you were together.
He finally got that job you’ve been nagging him to apply for.
He has finally quit smoking and drinking.
He has finally finished his degree after a few years of putting it off. Your ex is making a visible effort to prove that he is a better person.
11. He’s Happy About Your Achievements
He congratulated you on your promotion.
He posted how proud he is of you for passing the bar exam. He notes how far you’ve come since you first met.
He is showering you with compliments every chance he gets.
12. He’s Done This Before
You are in an on-and-off relationship or you have broken up before and gotten back together – chances are, your ex-boyfriend will come back.
Studies show that couples who have broken up before and subsequently gotten back together are more likely to be in an on-and-off cycle.
However, this would also mean that another breakup is possible in the near future. So you have to be careful not to turn your relationship into an on-and-off relationship.
13. He is Still Single or He is in a Relationship Right Away
Although these two signs are diametrically opposite to each other, they can both mean the same thing – that your ex still wants a relationship with you.
He still sees you as the woman he wants to grow old with.
A man who stays single for a while after a breakup could mean that he is still desiring to get back together with you.
It could also mean that he can’t seem to find anyone that would measure up to you.
On the other hand, a man who quickly jumps into another relationship is most likely in a rebound relationship. A rebound relationship is probably a bad idea but he has to do this because he is in pain.
A man will engage in a rebound relationship to avoid or mask whatever negative emotions he is feeling due to the breakup.
14. He still Makes Plans with You
Aside from dropping by spontaneously, he will try to make plans with you.
He messages you to go out to have coffee next week or he still wants to treat you out for dinner on your birthday.
This is probably one of the most obvious signs that he is not ready to let go just yet.
He is still seeing the future with you.
15. He (or you) knows What went Wrong and Apologized for it
This Is probably the most important sign to look out for. An ex who does not know what went wrong in your relationship is not worth going back to.
If you go back to this person, there is a high probability that you would just again end up getting hurt and breaking up again.
It is therefore important to discuss with your ex first the reason for your past break up. There should be a genuine and conscious effort to address the problem from both parties.
If you are still unsure, Take our 2 Minute Quiz Here:
He actually wants to come back, what do I do?
After exhibiting these signs, your ex-boyfriend directly confesses that he still loves you and would love to give your love a second chance. You mutually feel the same! What do you need to do now?
1. Bury the Hatchet
Of course, if you want your relationship to work, you should no longer be combative and on defense in the presence of each other. Small fights and disagreements are unavoidable. However, if you find yourself just going back to a toxic relationship, that should be a sign to no longer continue with it.
2. Take it Slow
Give each other time to warm up to each other again. Feel free to test out the waters first before announcing to the world that you have reconciled with your ex-boyfriend.
Check if he has already changed for the better. Observe if you still get into fights over petty things. Check if things are indeed different this time.
It’s best to take it easy and slow before jumping all out again on your ex.
3. Learn from the Past
The adage goes, “forgive and forget.” However, I beg to differ. I would rather say “forgive and learn from and remember your mistakes.”
Your problems as a couple in the past should be treated as a learning experience.
Learn from them and try to foster a more loving relationship.
4. Talk it Out
Talk to your partner about your past problems. Address the issues one by one.
This way, you can address the issues together in hopes that this would help to avoid them from happening again in the future.
Tell him what you expect to happen. Ask him his expectations as well. Communication is vital to any relationship.
An ex who refuses to discuss the past problems or disregards your feelings is a red flag. Rethink your decision of getting back to him.
5. Be Open with what Happened when You were Apart
Some may find this rule strange. But it’s important to also inform your significant other of how things went with you during your time apart.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be in detail. But at least apprise him of what happened to avoid surprises along the road.
6. Always keep in Mind Why you Want him Back
Getting back with an ex is at times seen negatively by many.
Some may criticize you but at the end of the day, it is ultimately your choice.
So whenever naysayers would question your decision to get back with your ex, always remember why you want him back.
This is probably the most important thing to keep in mind after reconciling with an ex.
Endings are always painful. But as the adage goes, “every ending is a beginning”.
Breaking up with an ex is a beginning and a new chapter in your life.
In the meantime, enjoy your single life – learn and grow from it. If there is a chance that your ex will come back, always remember why you want to get back with him.
Give love a second chance. Maybe this time, things will work out.