“How do I know if I’m ugly?” might have crossed your mind at some point.
Those born at the other end of the pretty spectrum usually draw the short straw and are picked the last.
“My prettier classmate always gets called first in the football team even if I’m the rock star on the field.”
“That lady with the nice legs got away with cutting the grocery line because the guy let her.”
“I wish my crush would look at me instead of my best friend, Marla!”
Do these sound familiar to you?
Looking beautiful and hot has always been a timeless aspiration for women. The sleeping “beauty” woke up because a prince kissed her. The ugly duckling had a happy ending because it transformed into a beautiful swan.
Even the film “Pretty Woman” is considered a modern-day Cinderella tale, even if the protagonist was a prostitute—a beautiful one for that matter.
How to tell if you’re ugly? Don’t ask yourself. Unattractive people are usually unaware of their unattractiveness.
You’re better off asking a child.
Did you know that babies as young as six months old can identify beauty? These young ones prefer to look at the same relatively attractive faces that adults do (Rubenstein, Kalakanis, & Langlois, 1999).
I’m willing to bet you don’t have access to a baby right now, so let’s skip to the next best thing.
I’ve listed the scenarios, cues, and signs you could be an unattractive woman. This list should help you figure out how you fare on the attraction scale and what you can actually do about it.
Women in our society are judged too much. Often the prettiest and most confident woman can be the one with the most insecurities. Here are 20 signs you are unattractive woman, and what to do about it.
20 Signs You are An Unattractive Woman
1. Bad Personality (and mood)
If you thought we’d start with the physical trait, I’d say the number 1 in the unappealing meter would be an awful personality that exudes meanness and rage. Studies show that just having a bad mood contributes to an ugly character.
People swerve away if you are brash, rude, and unhospitable. That bad attitude has a glaring way of repelling others.
2. Invisibility Cloak
When people ignore or tend to “skip” over your face, you have been classified as unattractive or just forgettable.
Being ignored when you’re looking for a size 7 shoe or asking the office IT guy for help gives you the impression that you’re not worth their attention.
If the office IT guy forgets you even exist, that also confirms that yours is a face that can launch not a single memory.
3. First (and last) Date
Dates may come and go, but if you notice yours ending up on the first date only or being a perpetual hook-up, then your swiping days are far from over.
Probably you’re not their type, they saw someone hotter, or you’re just not girlfriend material.
4. The Flirting Encounter
Have you ever been hit on by other guys in a bar? Has an officemate ever flirted with you during the Christmas party?
If the answer is yes for your peers but a big no for you, then you should probably start finding new friends. Seriously, if you haven’t had a flirty exchange even with the geekiest guy from Accounting, then it’s time to up your game.
5. An Awful Sense of Humor
A joke that doesn’t invite laughter.
Side comments and banters that offend rather than amuse others.
You heard that Rocky won the vote for hosting the office “comedy night” when you campaigned for this role, with cookies.
If people aren’t laughing and are distancing themselves when you’re about to share your next joke, maybe you’re not as funny as you think.
6. Compliments on Anything But You
You just got a haircut and are so proud to get to work that Monday. Hannah from Purchasing just praised your glittery phone cover, while Sally from HR asked you where you bought your chic shoes.
I guess no one noticed your new ‘do, or maybe it just wasn’t that newsworthy. Nothing about you is physically exceptional, so folks compliment on the things you own or your Powerpoint sorcery.
If they’re feeling generous, they’ll compliment your personality or temperament—but that’s about it.
7. How do Friends Describe You
Joe, your high school lab partner, calls you “a dear and gentle soul who couldn’t dissect a frog properly.”
Carrie, your college roommate, says you are “a high-spirited and energetic lady that Mother Nature would be proud of.”
Regina, from youth camp, thinks, “she’s such a funny sweetheart, and I love her purple sweater.”
Dave, your last date, describes your “sweet temperament with a modest smile.”
Except for the purple sweater that Regina loves, friends and acquaintances have nothing remarkable to note about your looks, achievements, or fashion sense.
8. Pick Me
In a bar or a store, somehow, you’re always served last.
In a group assignment, the attractive ones are selected to present. You end up clicking the presentation from the side.
In a team project, your boss gives you more research-intensive work so you won’t have to face other people.
9. Blind Hook-up
When friends or relatives try to hook you up with another guy in desperation, usually it’s the ugliest friend of a friend, a widower, or that wealthy old retiree. Take your pick.
10. Look Me in the Eye
Guys interested in a girl use eye contact to make that connection. With you, there’s no such kind of looking at all since they’re either distracted with something else or would rather leave in haste.
11. Are you Stressed?
When your officemates ask if you’re stressed out, it’s not because they’d like to invite you to yoga class.
Looking pallid with dark under-eye circles and unkempt hair can be nasty to look at. Add that anxious look and coffee breath—all the reasons not to invite you to yoga for sure.
Stress causes our faces to be uglier and puffier. If you look and act stressed, people will steer clear of you as you’re giving off the “leave me alone with my 10th cup of coffee” vibe.
12. Fashion Faux Pas
If your boss or officemates constantly remind you about your office attire or looking presentable, time to look at yourself in the mirror.
Bad hair day? Wrinkled blazer and ill-fitting pants? Dirty nails?
Even Cinderella didn’t look this appalling.
The best way to keep others away is to look like Cruella after a fight with the 101 Dalmatians. A terrible fashion sense (ill-fitting or age-inappropriate clothes) signals others that you’re just in denial of the era or your weight.
13. Where’s My Mask?
Poor hygiene is also another cause for a fire alarm.
Peers giving you deodorant on your birthday or classmates pinching their noses when you pass by is a sign that you’re slacking off the suds activities.
Boys don’t want to talk to—let alone pass by—a stinky girl. It’s unpleasant and mildly gross, especially for those who sit beside you.
14. Bad Habits
Excessive bad habits that you refuse to address may cause more social detriment. Smelling like a casino or constantly borrowing money is distasteful and will not earn you points in the friend department.
When your officemates call you smokin’, and it’s not because you’re hot, your vices may be contributing to your disagreeable persona.
15. The Weight is Over
Has anyone called you heavy lately? Notice your pants getting tighter than two months ago?
There’s the stigma that fat people are lazy, irresponsible, and prone to binge eating. It’s an instant bad impression, especially if you are applying for a new job or meeting a blind date.
16. The Twilight Zone
You’ve exhausted all your potential matches and never got a swipe back.
Previous dates never checked back, and messages to male friends remain unseen.
That’s a clear sign you’ve been friend-zoned and seen-zoned.
Abby accidentally posted a photo of her and the gang last Saturday night—before it hit her that she set it for public viewing.
When your friends go out and make plans without you, it could be one of many reasons.
They’re happier without you.
You can be a killjoy.
You tend to be loud and drive the boys away.
If you can’t even figure out why you weren’t invited, that’s much worse. You might have been too drunk to remember that you ran over Abby’s cat and never apologized.
18. Did Someone Die?
When you get that question a lot, you must have a resting sad face.
No one wants to approach anyone with a miserable expression pasted on her face. It deflects all kinds of positivity and friendship potential.
It can also be depressing to look at you, so I’d rather look at the wall.
19. When’s the Last Time you…
Visited the salon?
Hit the gym?
Had a vacation?
When your peers start to ask you these check-up questions, they must be concerned about your unbearable state.
It looks like your overall appearance needs a complete overhaul.
20. Getting Unsolicited Advice
A former classmate tells you, “Girl, you gotta get back to the gym! You used to be so fit in swim class.”
Your Great Aunt Jenny, whom you haven’t seen in 10 years, follows you around in a family reunion just to tell you about her miracle cream. Now she claims to look like your older sister.
The lady at the makeup counter tries her best to sell you their entire collagen line because, “Honey, looks like you need all the help.”
You’re up for another blind date, and your friend Tricia offers to fix your face. “You need to look different, even just for tonight.”
Worst of all, your mother sends you links to fashion sites and influencer accounts. It seems that Great Aunt Jenny would like to pass the message that you dress like an 80s schoolteacher, and the clan agrees.
Friends, relatives, and even strangers giving you—an adult woman—advice is not something to be ignored. They’re helping you because it seems that you just don’t get it.
Were these 20 signs a wake-up call for you? For just one second, were you convinced that you might be an unattractive woman?
It’s not the end of the world. I’ve had my share of nasty moods, going makeup-free in the office and just frowning at dates I didn’t like.
I didn’t get fired, but I didn’t get a second date though.
If you think that you’ve hit the Plain Jane level, here’s what you can do about it:
What To Do If You are Unattractive
1. Who doesn’t love a makeover?
Invest in makeup (that’s suitable for your skin tone and type) and wear it with confidence. If budget permits, shop for clothes that complement your figure and persona.
Keep your body fit by taking daily walks or hitting the gym after work.
Did you know
Kewpie doll effect refers to the notion that infant-like facial features are perceived as cute and lovable and elicit favorable responses from others.
Make it a point to always look your best—whether in the office or just shopping for toothpaste.
In a study, women in makeup were approached more by men in a bar. When you look good, you also feel good about yourself.
2. Get that Shut-Eye
If you are well-rested and composed, you radiate health and high spirits. Getting a good night’s sleep diminishes stress and fatigue and all the unattractive physical components attached to these (wrinkles, eye bags, feeling weak and cranky).
3. Show those Pearly Whites
Smiling is the key to drawing people to you. Did you know that aside from wearing makeup in a bar, women who also smiled were approached more by men?
It’s also hard to judge people who smile a lot. It’s like a crime against happiness.
4. Positive Vibes
Wake up with a feeling of optimism, and share this outlook with those around you. Turn judgments into shared opinions, criticisms into learning points, and harsh jokes into social interactions.
A positive mindset keeps you intact, grounded, and focused on the only thing that matters, your life. If others get in the way, go on with your life journey.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
The signs you are unattractive woman may confirm your thoughts, but don’t let these bring you down.
There are solutions to your “ugly” problems. Physical deficiencies, bad habits, and the occasional bad mood can be addressed and fixed.
With so many movies on ugly-girl-turns-beautiful, surely there’s hope for any Plain Jane.
Princess Diaries, Miss Congeniality, Clueless, She’s All That, The Devil Wears Prada. I can go on with a list of my favorite movies, but you get the picture, right?
If you’re feeling positive after reading all this, also remember that a happy ending may even include a crown. Who’s ugly now?